


I Would Love You For a Thousand More Lifetimes

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Baker Dean Winchester, Bee Keeper Castiel, Curses, Fae & Fairies, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Past Lives, Past Torture, Unseelie Court, vague mentioning death of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-11 08:11:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: The Unseelie Court - The Unholy, who are at best amoral in action, bound to different laws and predilections and harm at a whim, although may show some preferences towards some of the human race.Or the one where Castiel is a forest fairie from the Unseelie Court in the guise of a beekeeper.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for how rushed this will feel. I had an idea and we just ran with it lol.

* * *

 

_Fucking Becky Rosen_

 

Sam pushed him to “buy local, go green” one time in front of her and the next thing Dean knew there was a league of bloggers and vloggers tearing his bakery to shreds online. Half of which, he was convinced, had never even set foot inside the door.

 

The thing was, he already _bought local_...for almost everything. He might not have many memories of his mom left in his mind but the day she taught him how to bake her famous apple pie is one he’s held tightly over the years. How she’d taken him to the neighbor’s farm and paid him a handful of dollar bills for two large baskets full of three different kinds of apples they’d picked. She told him how important it was to make sure the people around them were cared for and fairly paid.

 

He’d taken that memory on with him throughout his whole life and not once had it steered him wrong but Sam got one look at a bag of that wasn’t Hudson Cream and a Jar of Honey that wasn’t from the Murphy family and he raised hell.

 

Of course, that was before the idiot realized that there had been a small recall on some of the Hudson Cream flour, so the store didn’t have any. Also that the Murphy family had closed up shop for a while because the old man was sick. Dean understood and didn’t complain, but he had an order for two hundred mini-pecan pie tarts and no honey, so sue him, he went to the fucking grocery store and bought a different kind.

 

“Ah, Benny my man, how’s things goin? Whatchya got for me today?” he asked, loving the easy grin on the other man’s face. Dean had been buying berries from him for years before he even had the bakery and he’d never been disappointed. Hell, Benny might as well have been his best friend at that point. Though usually, they could skip the crowds of the farmer’s market.

 

But Dean had to be _seen_ buying his home-grown ingredients.

 

_Again, Stupid Becky Fucking Rosen._

 

“Only the best for you brother,” Benny said going to his truck to pull out the crate of berries he had especially for Dean.  He’d called him last night asking to bring it to the market and at first Benny almost questioned him but he remembered the drama.  Benny thought it was a bunch of bullshit and slapped Sam upside the head himself.

 

“I added some mulberries as well, they’re extra tart,” he said and plopped the crate down.  There was a buzz around his face and he gently brushed the little bee away, “Oh hey, that reminds me.  We got a new honey vendor,” he said.

 

“Oh? Someone pulling a takeover at Murphys or some actual competition?” Dean asked, grinning at his friend.

 

“Oh I think it’s _friendly_ competition if anything,” Benny chuckled, “Though...the guy is kinda strange, make sure you take a look at his stuff before you take off.  Especially since word is Murphy ain’t gonna be reopening anytime soon.”

 

“Ah man, that’s hard to hear,” Dean said, knowing exactly what it meant. The old man was a fighter but he was also nearly eighty-five and his only kid was allergic to bees, but handled the business side. He’d take a pie over and visit later that week, they’d been good to him over the years.

 

“Alright, I’ll check it out, brother. Thanks for the fruit and I’ll see you at game night tomorrow?”

 

“Sure thing,” Benny said with a wink.  

 

Dean carried the crates out to his baby before wandering back inside, he made a few more purchases, all things he needed at the bakery except for the bell peppers which he planned to stuff and have for dinner later. It had been a while since he’d made food for just himself. He _always_ cooked when Sammy was home but he never saw the point in using up dishes and utensils and time, if it was just for him. So he’d order takeout or make a sandwich, something quick and easy.

 

When he got toward the back of the town square, Dean thought he must have missed the guy Benny was talking about. He hadn’t seen a honey booth. There’d been all kinds of stuff, a lot of different preserves and jams and jellies, not to mention the fudge that he’d barely dragged himself away from. It was one of the only things that he hadn’t mastered. No matter how many recipes he tried, it just never seemed to set up for him.

 

He heard a shout of his name and Dean spun around in the direction it came from, nearly knocking someone over in the process.

 

“Woah, sorry...that was my bad.”

 

“It’s quite alright,” Castiel said with a small smile.  He’d seen the guy turning a split second before colliding with him but he allowed for it to happen.  There was a gentle whispering against his ear and knew there was something about this man that demanded that they meet.  He took the hand offered to him, the warmth emanating from the man made him hum as he was pulled to his feet.  He got a brief glimpse of something that happened long ago and stifled the gasp in time to meet those familiar jade green eyes.

 

“You okay...I didn’t mean to push into you like that,” Dean said, looking over the guy’s legs and ankles specifically, checking for any sign of an injury. When he looked up though, the air fled from his lungs and his heart began to pound wildly in his chest as the loud beats filled his ears drowning out nearly everything else

 

He was beautiful, in a way that nothing Dean had ever seen before could be compared. There was something bright, almost iridescent in those deep blue eyes that had him moving forward without even noticing it.

 

Dean faltered, the soft grip on his hand made his knees tremble and his face fill with warmth.

 

“Oh, I uh-I’m-sorry, again I mean,” he added with a wince.

 

Castiel smiled again, the warmth increasing between them.  He found himself closing his eyes and trying to pull more to himself but gently let go of the man’s hand instead.  Human’s were such fragile creatures, Castiel didn’t want to scare him off just moments after meeting.

 

“No need to apologize.  I’m Castiel,” he said offering his hand this time and hummed again when the man grasped his hand.  It wasn’t just the touch of his skin but the scent wafting around him tickled all of Castiel’s senses and memories.  He couldn't help drawing the warm stranger a bit closer.  It was so sweet with an underlying touch of spice.

 

“Oh, hi…I’m Dean,” he said, still feeling a tad off kilter but he controlled himself well enough to stay upright and in that moment, it felt like a victory.

 

“I uh, my friend was...I heard my name,” he said, swallowing hard before looking around to see anyone who might have called out to him.

 

Castiel nodded and slipped through the crowd to get back to his stall.  He turned back to see a redhead running up to Dean and smiled. They would meet again, that he was sure of.

 

“Yo Dean-o!” Charlie called out running over to embrace one of her best friends, “I thought I was gonna miss you.  Me and Dory just got here,” she said. Dean had a faraway expression as he looked behind him, his face scrunching up as if there was something suddenly missing.

 

“Hey, earth to Dean, you alright?” she laughed.

 

“Yeah I just-,” Dean started, but how could he explain what he was feeling. It was just this _void_ this hollow emptiness inside him that hadn’t been there just moments before. Shaking his head, he forced himself to adjust to it and focused his attention on Charlie. “Yeah Charls I’m good.”

 

Charlie stared up at him for a minute then shrugged, “Okay, so you leaving soon or you wanna hang out for a bit?” Charlie asked.

 

It was on the tip of his tongue to say yes but something inside him kinda took over and before he could stop it he’d already turned her down, “No, there’s somewhere I need to be.”

 

He didn’t know precisely where that was but he gave her a quick hug and moved toward the back of the booths again, this time noticing a beautiful, restored pickup with a hand-carved sign that said, “Bee Loved”

 

Dean was immediately drawn closer, not only knowing the need he had for honey but something else, like a string tethered inside his chest was tugging him forward.

 

Castiel gently stirred his favorite of all his honey, the Orange Blossom.  The container had his own personal etching of the flower in the front and it made him smile each time he saw it.  There were bees floating all around him and hummed softly at them, their buzzing becoming excited when he dropped a few bits of the honey onto his fingers and offered it up to them.

 

“This is...wow, they really like you,” Dean said, the usual lick of fear he felt around bees dying a quick death.

 

Castiel smiled at the young man he had seen from earlier, “I consider them friends,” he said and gave Dean a teasing grin, “Would you like a sample?”  The bees buzzed around him with excitement and then flitted off towards his truck where he had bunches of flowers laid out specifically for them.

 

“Yes, please...I need some honey for pecan pie tarts and some other stuff.” Dean had never been more tempted to lick someone in his whole damn life, but the glint of honey on Castiel’s fingertips made his mouth water.

 

“Hmmm,” Castiel hummed and brushed the fingers of his clean hand over his containers.  He stopped first at his more common and best seller. The clover one would only add the normal sweet taste of honey but Castiel had a feeling Dean would want his pies to stand out.  He went back to his favorite and bit his lip in thought before dipping a tasting spoon inside and then handing it over.

 

“Try this.”

 

There was a moment of hesitation, mostly out of mild disappointment at the spoon being produced seemingly out of nowhere. Still, he took it and pushed the taste into his mouth and his eyes fluttered shut instantly. It was just sweet enough, with a hint of something smokey. It would pair wonderfully with the nutty flavor of the pecans and the gooey caramel flavored filling.

 

“Wow, that’s...incredible. What is it?”

 

“My personal favorite, Orange Blossom,” Castiel answered, “I have others but I think this one will make your tarts stand out,” he said with a soft smile.  There was a buzz in his ear and he couldn’t help chuckling, dripping another bit on his finger for the bee. It tickled his skin when he landed on his finger and Castiel stood there holding his hand up while a few more joined their friend.

 

“You’re like the bee whisperer or somethin’, man.” Dean said, shaking his head as a chuckle escaped his lips. “I’ve never seen anything like that, I mean old man Murphy was damn good with his own bees but they didn’t like to hang around in the off hours.”

 

Castiel smiled brightly, his shoulder lifting in a shrug, “I’ve always had a special relationship with them.  Ever since I was a child,” he said. It wasn’t often he felt silly emotions like being bashful but somehow this boy made him blush and want to duck his face.  

 

“Are there any others that you would like to try?” he asked.

 

“I’d take them all if I could, but a couple jars of this one is probably enough for today...could I-I mean-,” Dean paused, suddenly feeling nervous. He pulled his wallet out and dug down until he found one of the few business cards he kept on him and passed it over. “That’s my place if you wanna stop in whenever you have free time. I’d like to try some more samples and set up a supply deal if that’s something you’d like, I mean.”

 

Castiel’s eyes widened and found himself nodding eagerly, “I’d love that and I’ll definitely stop by,” he said.  He wrapped a few jars in paper and then added a bag of free goodies he put with every order along with his business card.  He hesitated for a split second before writing down his personal cell phone number. It was a necessary evil that he was to have one.  He had ways though to get away from all of the technology that would occasionally give him a migraine.

 

“That’ll be eighteen dollars,” Castiel said handing over the basket.

 

“Wow, really?” Dean said, before passing a twenty and some ones over and leaving before Castiel could give any of it back. He’d have paid double that for the taste of that honey in his pies. He walked away, even though the tug of something snapped tighter in his chest. He hoped it wouldn't be the last time he faced the mysterious beekeeper.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dude, Dean...what in God’s name did you put in these?” Sam groaned nearly shoving the entire pie into his mouth.  He didn’t get to help out in the kitchen very often but he had the weekend off from his internship and wanted to spend some time with his older brother.  They grew up in the kitchen but it only stuck with Dean.

 

“Crack, Sammy...pure grade crack. Nothing works like drugs for making permanent customers,” Dean teased, before pointing toward the honey jars on the countertop. “I’ve got a new honey guy, looks like Murphy’s out of business. I actually met him at the farmer’s market last weekend, _thanks for that by the way.”_

 

Sam winced, “Hey, I said I was sorry!” he said and grabbed up one of the honey jars, “New guy huh?  Wonder if it’s the same guy Jess told me about, a little weird with intense blue eyes?” he asked and twisted the lid off.

 

“Sounds like him, alright. He’s some sort of bee whisperer man, it’s crazy.”

 

Dean placed the large baking tray into the oven and pulled the other out to check and see if the filling had set. It was perfect and he sat them down on the island before smacking Sam’s hand to keep him from stealing another one. “Dude, c’mon.”

 

“What?  I can’t help it, they’re fucking good man.  Wonder what he puts in that honey,” Sam asked taking a whiff from the jar before closing it back up.

 

“Hey Dean, there’s someone up here asking for ya,” Krissy said after poking her head through the door.

 

“Some kind of orange blossoms or something, I guess,” Dean said, before wiping his hands off and moving toward the front of the store.

 

“Kris who-” Dean started, “Oh hey, Castiel...wasn’t it?” Dean said, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest and he could feel sweat building on his palms.

 

“Hello Dean and yes, you got my name correct,” Castiel smiled, “I was in town and thought I would stop by,” he said and took in a deep breath, “Mmm, what are you making?”

 

“A few things actually but there’s a fresh batch of those pecan pie tarts I was telling you about if you’d like to try one?” he asked, feeling a little too hopeful probably, but he couldn’t hold it back. He swallowed roughly when Castiel’s smile widened and there was a tingling fluttery sensation in his stomach. “C’mon back. I’ll give you the very short tour.”

 

“Thank you,” Castiel said and followed Dean into the kitchen area.  Everything was incredibly clean, the only mess being where Dean was preparing for the next batch of sweets to go into the oven.  There was another boy whose eyes widened when he saw them and Castiel just smiled, “Hello.”

 

“Uh...hi?” Sam said eyeing Dean.

 

“Sammy, Cas...Cas that’s my kid brother Sam. He likes to help out on the weekends which mostly means eating his weight in desserts and occasionally doing dishes,” Dean teased with a laugh. He eased one of the cooled tarts off the pan and gently placed it down on a plate, careful not to break the crust. When he finished he put a dollop of fresh whipped cream on top and a light sprinkle of allspice to top it off.

 

“I’ll grab you a glass of milk, you’ll want it.”

 

“Oh thank you, this smells divine,” Castiel groaned.  Sweets were a dangerous thing for his kind. Eating too many could easily put him in a coma-like state but there were times he did indulge and now would be one of them.  He took a bite and felt the glamor around his eyes dim a bit and quickly closed them before either boy could see, “This is incredible,” he said.

 

“I thought so too, the best I’ve ever made and I gotta say Cas, I owe a lot of that to your honey.”

 

Dean sat the cup of cold milk onto the island where Cas was standing before pulling out one of the barstools and offering it up to him. “Just thinking about my honeycomb cupcakes made with that stuff has had me craving them all day.”

 

Castiel kept his eyes closed until he felt his glamor slide back into place and he finally blinked them open, “That sounds wonderful.  I have a few new strains that I’m trying out that you could possibly make sweets based off of it. I have a lavender one in the works,” he said and took another bite of the pie.  Somehow it was even better than the first and he quickly took a drink of milk.

 

Sam watched Castiel with a curious expression.  He seemed almost stoned. Chuckling softly he winked at Dean before joining Krissy up front to give the two some alone time.

 

‘I’ve got some berry recipes that would go well with that I bet, lavender is a hard thing to get right though, if there’s even a spec too much it tastes like eating dish soap...it’s why I haven’t used it before,” Dean said, then his eyes went wide. “Oh man, but I bet if you temper it with the sweetness of the honey I wouldn't have to worry about adding too much.”

 

Castiel smiled slowly, the sugar quickly making its way through his bloodstream, “I think you and I will work very well together,” he said, “I haven’t partnered with someone in a while, the last betrayed me.  One of the reasons why I moved but I would love to try again,” he said softly, placing his fork down. If he took one more bite he’d be in trouble and he wasn’t ready to let Dean see his true self.  Not yet.

 

“Oh, he uh...your partner was it business or…” Dean trailed off, not having the courage to continue his thought.

 

Castiel looked down for a moment, his anger rising to the surface.  He took a few breaths to calm himself and finally looked back up, “Both. I’d rather not talk about it now if you don’t mind,” he said softly.

 

“Oh sure okay, sorry about that...sometimes I’m too nosy for my own good.”

 

There was an odd, almost awkward silence for a few beats but then the timer dinged and he got back to work. When he pulled the last batch of tarts from the oven he counted again to make sure he had enough, and a few extras in case some of the shells didn’t stay intact but Dean was pleased with himself.

 

“So what are the kinds of honey you have going right now, I think I saw three or four at your booth but I didn’t really look into it too much, this one was just what I needed.”

 

Castiel smiled again, thankful for the change of subject.  Speaking of Inias always put him in a horrible mood but he refused to let him damper his visit with Dean.

 

“I have several.  The most common is Clover.  My favorite is the Orange Blossom, then I have a rosemary one that is much stronger, sweeter.  My Acacia one is becoming very popular, you can practically put it in anything.”

 

“I gotta admit, I don’t really know much about that last one but I’m sure I can find some use for it,” Dean grinned. “We can work out the details later but for now…” He grabbed the leftovers he’d stashed away in the fridge. It wasn’t often that he cooked at work, but they’d been stuck late the night before trying to finish the Corleone's wedding cake and the staff had all been starving. So he sent Sam across the street to the grocery store and he’d baked up a huge batch of mac and cheese and stuffed chicken breasts.

 

“Join me for lunch?”

 

“I would love to,” Castiel said, moving the leftover pie into a container that Dean handed to him, “I’ll save this for later.”

 

“Awesome, you’re gonna love this Cas…”

  


It was nearly evening when Cas left, mentioning something about tending to his garden and his bees. Dean just smiled and nodded at him and tried to ignore the faint tugging sensation in his chest again when the guy stepped outside the bakery.

 

After that, the rest of the day went beautifully, Dean was surprisingly energetic, even at the end of his shift. Sam teased him about his _date_ , not that it was a date but he still felt a warmth in his cheeks and chest whenever Sam referred to it that way.

 

He went home and took a long shower before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 

_Dean giggled in a way he hadn’t since he was a child, a tickling sensation spreading over the edges of his stomach. There was a presence there, nothing he could see or touch but it was warm and comforting. It felt as if it was on the edge of his peripheral, just out of reach._

 

_“What-wh-what are you doing?” he said, between the stuttered laughter. “Oh come on...no fair. I can’t tickle you back like this.”_

 

_There was a slight jingling and Dean shook his head. “Yeah yeah, love you too.”_

 

Dean rubbed at his face as the weight of his eyelids became lighter. He shrugged off the odd feeling of whatever dream he had and got ready for work. Bakeries meant early hours and Dean was used to getting up before the sun, but something about the day just felt brighter.

 

He grabbed his keys and wallet before pushing out the door. Normally there’d have been no hesitation, most days he didn’t even lock his door but his eyes shifted down and without thinking about it, he frowned. He immediately got the sensation that something wasn’t right with the picture and when he looked closer he was surprised to see what was there.

 

A bee.

 

Not _just_ a bee but one that was struggling, barely able to hang onto the flower pot Mrs. Johnson put by his door.

 

Dean nervously bit his lip...he didn’t want the thing to die, but he also _really_ didn’t want to touch it.

 

At that moment, his brain reminded him of Cas and Dean smiled. “Hold on little buddy, I have a bee guy.”

 

Before he even thought of the early hour, Dean had his phone out pressing gently on Cas’ name.

 

Castiel opened one eye and stared at the plastic contraption ringing at him.  It took him a moment to come back to himself and when he did he quickly snatched at it.  Dean’s name on the screen put an instant smile on his face and he quickly said hello.

 

“Cas? Hey...sorry, I just realized you were probably asleep. I uh-I kinda have a bee problem. Well it’s not my problem so much as the bee’s problem but I saw it and then I thought, I know a guy, and now I’m calling you,” Dean winced, feeling more awkward than ever before.

 

Castiel almost laughed but then his chest tightened, “Wait, is this a struggling bee problem or do you have a hive kind of bee problem?” Castiel asked.

 

“Its uh-it’s one bee...I think maybe he uh, lost his wings, or a wing...not sure really I wasn’t um...I didn’t want to y’know spook it or anything,” he said, a little too grateful that he hadn’t had to admit his fear.

 

“Oh dear.  If you feel comfortable to, you can give me your address and I will come over and get him.” Castiel said.  He already knew Dean would give him the information. Not only was there a bee in trouble but Castiel felt the connection was growing steadily between them making Castiel's earlier assumptions concrete. It had been a very small spark of a thing the day before but when he woke up this morning, it was a gentle hum in the back of his mind.  He just had to work slow and be patient to help Dean see it as well.  After so long, he wasn't going to let this one get away from him.

 

“Yeah I uh, that would probably be better for everyone involved,” Dean said, before hurriedly spilling his address over the phone and hanging up the call. He stepped inside the house long enough to grab the throw pillow from the couch in the living room. He gently lowered it down on the ground underneath where the bee was hanging, not wanting the thing to fall and injure itself further.

 

Castiel studied the address and huffed out a laugh.  It would figure and make sense that the two of them would live within walking distance.  He grabbed his supplies to retrieve the bee and made his way down the road towards Dean’s home.  When it came into view he sighed. It was cute, small like his own but well kept. There were bright flowers spattered around and Castiel instantly felt the same pull that the bees did to this house.  The buzz was back and he looked around seeing the small hive up in one of the trees on Dean’s lot. Must be where this little bee came from.

 

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Dean crouched down, his mouth moving while his fingers danced around a flower pot on his porch.  Castiel closed his eyes and dimmed down his glamor just enough to hear what Dean was saying.

 

“I broke an arm once you know, I know it feels like the end of the world but you’ll get through it,” Dean said, picking a bit at the pavement stone under him. “And hey, on the bright side there was all kinds of things I learned how to do with my left hand that month.”

 

Castiel’s eyes flew open and swallowed hard.  Dean was actually talking with the bee. It was incredibly sweet, he didn’t want to break the little spell but he had to in order to save the small creature.  Biting his lip he walked slowly, still listening in until Dean’s head perked up when he finally heard his footsteps.

 

“Hello Dean, we live rather close to each other.  I walked,” he said when Dean looked around for a vehicle.

 

“Oh, well that will come in handy,” he said, before realizing how it sounded. “I-I meant for business.”

 

Dean scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. “Cas, meet Rocky. Rocky, Cas...little guy refused to give up.”

 

“You named him?” Castiel asked, smiling when Dean blushed.  He shook his head fondly and pulled the dropper out of his premixed sugar water and dropped some into his palm.  The bee dropped into his hand and instantly began to drink from it. While it was occupied he took a q-tip and checked it’s wings.

 

“His wings seem okay, he probably just got overheated.  You have a beehive on your property that he probably belongs to,” Castiel said.  He hummed a soft melody and the bee actually clicked at him. He wasn’t sure if Dean heard it but it made him chuckle.

 

“Good good, I’m glad he’s okay...looked like he was having a rough time climbing that flower,” Dean said, smiling softly up at Cas as he climbed to his feet, "Is there uh, anything I can do?"

 

He blushed when Cas eyed the cushion under the plant but shrugged and turned his back to hide his burning cheeks. “I didn’t want him to fall off or anything.”

 

“It’s okay Dean.  If you can just get me a spoon, I can put my mixture into it and it’ll be easier for him to eat from,” he said and smiled softly at the man.  Once Dean was inside he bit his lip and glanced down at the bee, “You did this on purpose didn’t you?” he asked. The bee buzzed at him again and Castiel chuckled, “That’s what I thought, little trickster.”

 

Dean found a spoon and headed back outside, he handed it down to Cas with a smile. “I wonder how long they’ve been here, I didn’t really notice a hive or anything...and I feel like that’s probably something I would have noticed.”

 

“Honey bees stay to themselves and with all those flowers you have over there they wouldn’t have the need to come any closer to your house.  Except for this little guy. Probably got separated or got a little too adventurous,” Castiel said in a teasing tone. He took the spoon and filled it with the mixture.  The bee crawled from his hand onto the cushion then to the spoon.

 

“If you’d like I can take them, add them to my hives,” he said softly.

 

“Oh...no I mean, they’re not a problem or anything. You said they stick to themselves so I don’t mind,” Dean said, feeling momentarily shocked at how true the words were. He didn’t mind the bee, maybe Cas was rubbing off on him. “Well, it looks like you’ve got this under control and I gotta get to work just, help yourself to anything you need to get the little guy back on his feet, or wings, or whatever.”

 

Dean moved without thinking and before he could stop himself, his arms were wrapped around Castiel in a hug. When he realized what he’d done, he forced out a quiet “Thanks, Cas.”

 

Castiel gasped softly.  It had been a long time since someone hugged him...or even touched him with kindness.  He swallowed hard and slowly hugged Dean back, his fingers clutching onto the back of Dean’s jacket, “Y-You’re welcome,” he said, not wanting to let go.  Castiel hung on as long as he was allowed before Dean was gently pulling away. That bashful feeling overcame him again and he ducked his face.

 

“I’ll take care of Rocky for you, reunite him with his hive,” he said quietly.  

 

“Yeah, that’s good...I’d uh, I’d hate to keep him from his family,” he said, swallowing roughly. “See you later Cas.”

 

Castiel nodded, forcing a smile as he held up his hand in an awkward wave, “Goodbye Dean,” he said. He watched as Dean stumbled down the steps of his porch then quickly made his way to the black beast of a car that he owned.  He could appreciate it for its beauty but Castiel did not want to sit in it unless he absolutely had to. Iron and his kind were not fond of each other.

 

“Alright Rocky, let’s return you to your home,” he said gently picking the spoon up that the bee was still sitting in.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few things to note...
> 
> Fairies absolutely hate iron and modern technology. It's one of the few things that can kill them. Castiel has had to make adjustments to appear human but he can go into a catatonic state if he's around it too much.
> 
> Sugar - a lot of the fae are ridiculously addicted to it. Castiel isn't one of the types but I thought it would be adorable that he'd have the same condition and get super high off of the sugary treats that Dean made.
> 
> Glamour - A fairies most basic magic. They use it to change the way they look at their will. Some are more powerful than others and can alter a person's mind with it.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel stirred slowly at the batter and hummed it was still thick and he wasn’t sure if it was how Dean wanted.  His friend was talking quietly on the phone across the bakery’s kitchen and didn’t want to interrupt. He’d brought his weekly delivery of honey for Dean and got talked into helping in the kitchen.  It didn’t take much convincing, it never did. He loved helping Dean and getting to spend time with him.

 

The moment Castiel heard the click of the phone being turned off he turned to give Dean a pathetic look, “I think I messed it up,” he laughed.

 

Dean chuckled, moving over to his...  _ friend  _ quickly. It wasn’t uncommon to hear those words from the guy, though it was never as messed up as he imagined. The only thing that had actually been irreversible was the mix up of flour and cornstarch, but that was in the first couple days of Cas helping out. Krissy had made bigger mistakes and she was going to pastry school. 

 

He glanced down at the batter, pulled the spoon out of it, the mixture spinning off it’s back a lot slower than he was used to. 

 

“How many eggs did you use...how much liquid?” he asked, surely it couldn’t have been too much. 

 

“I used as much as you wrote down,” Castiel said pointing to the writing with a sigh, “Four teaspoons-”

 

Dean smiled, “Cas Tbsp, with a capital T is Tablespoon...and I don’t think you’ve added the eggs yet..that should help. Here use that and then put in just as many as you did before,” he instructed, fondly bumping against the other man before moving toward the fresh eggs they kept on the counter at room temperature. 

 

Castiel laughed softly, “I’m not very good at this,” he said feeling his cheeks warm.  Castiel wasn’t sure he was even helping but he was having fun. He did as he was instructed and this time when he stirred it was smooth.

 

“You’re not  _ bad _ at it either. Why do you think we’ve stuck Sammy on dish duty for the last three summers?” Dean teased, smiling down at the adjusted cupcake batter. It was back to a normal consistency for what he wanted. It was a vanilla cake mix with Cas’ acacia honey mixed into the batter and the frosting. He also planned to fill them with the apricot jam he got from Benny. 

 

“These are gonna be good, I know it.” 

 

When he pulled them from the oven a little later they smelled just as good as he’d hoped. The cakes were light and fluffy, not overmixed or baked too long. He couldn’t wait. He pushed the whole tray into the freezer to cool them down as he got to work on the meringue frosting he wanted to use.  “Do me a favor Cas and set a timer for ten minutes, when those babies chill, I’m gonna let you core out some of the middle so we can fill them up.” 

 

Castiel nodded eagerly, happiness nearly overflowing that he didn’t ruin the cupcakes and he was excited to try them.  Even if it would leave him in a coma later, he didn’t care. He’d just spend some extra time outside tonight to get back to normal.

 

“So my strain of lavender honey should be ready for tasting in a few days if you’d like to come over and try it?” he asked biting on his bottom lip as he put the timer back down on the countertop.

 

“Sure, I’ve got some raspberries and cream cheese. We’ll do breakfast and I’ll bring over some bagels, though I’m sure it’s good on its own. I wasn’t expecting for the Rosemary one to be palatable by itself but you always seem to surprise me, Cas.” 

 

Dean regrettably turned the mixer on to beat the egg whites, meaning the conversation was put on hold for a bit. Meringue frosting wasn’t simple to make but when done right,  _ and he did _ , it could come out looking and tasting as if you were eating a sweet cloud.

 

Castiel smiled brightly at the praise and moved closer to watch Dean work.  Even though he was aching to touch Dean, to feel the other man’s warmth he managed to keep a bit of distance between them.  More than once Dean had given him a look for being too close. Castiel wasn't sure what it meant though. Whether he wanted Castiel to move away or stay there, he didn’t know and he was too nervous to ask.

 

It took a few minutes, egg whites were stubborn, but eventually, it started looking like fluffy white clouds and Dean eased the mixer blades out and quickly covered it with plastic. 

 

“C’mon, now for the fun part,” he said, though almost all of it was fun for him.

 

They grabbed the cupcakes from the freezer and Dean gave Cas a piping tip and told him to stick it into the middle of the cupcake, upside down until there was a decent sized gap in the center. He showed him a few times and then let the guy go. He used a small ziplock as a piping bag, they always seemed to work easier with jam and washing something sticky out of the big ones could be a real pain in the ass. 

 

Dean went along behind Cas and filled them all with jam before placing the tip of the missing cake back on. 

 

Castiel licked at his fingers once he was finished with his part and hummed appreciatively, “That jam is delicious,” he sighed and then watched carefully as Dean began to frost each cupcake with care.  They looked beautiful and almost...just almost too good to eat. There was a bit of frosting leftover and Castiel swiped some with his finger. He blushed but had no shame when he sucked it off, “You’re going to make me fat,” he teased.

 

“I’m not force feeding you, Cas.” Dean teased, though he always felt just a mild touch of disappointment when Cas cut himself off. He still managed to eat quite a bit of them. 

 

“Though I gotta say, it feels good to know someone’s enjoying it. Well...I know people do, but usually they take their desserts home and stuff their faces.” he said with a chuckle. “I like that I’m here to watch you experience it.”

 

Castiel smiled, “When can I try one of those?” he asked moving close and this time forgetting about the personal space.  His chest brushed up against Dean’s arm as he leaned in to take a deep whiff of them. The sugar made his eyes pulse and he made sure to keep them down so Dean wouldn’t accidentally see too much.

 

“In just a second, I have one final touch.” Dean sprinkled three golden edible pearls on the top and reached under the counter where he’d been hiding his surprise. “If they turn out okay, I thought I’d name them Honey Bee Cupcakes,” he said, placing a small fondant bee right next to the pearls. 

 

Castiel’s mouth dropped open, “Really?  Did you make that? This is absolutely adorable!” Castiel cried leaning down more to get a better look.  He grinned as he realized Rocky probably had been the inspiration for the little candy bee. A swell of fondness spread through his chest and he turned his smile up to Dean, “I love it.”

 

“I thought you might,” he said, his cheeks feeling a little warm, even if the oven was off at the moment. Closing time was right around the corner and as soon as Dean could drag himself away from Cas, he’d do just that. “Go ahead, try it now.” 

 

Castiel carefully grabbed at one and his mouth watered.  This was definitely going to put him out, he just hoped he could get home before that happened.  Gently he peeled back the paper and took a generous bite. His head tipped back with a groan as the sweetness and sugar seared through him, “Wow,” he groaned.

 

Dean grinned, taking one for himself to test it. 

 

It was good, it wasn’t  _ great _ but it was good. He frowned down at the cupcake. “It’s missing something, it feels...a little heavy, I’ll have to try something different next time but I’ll figure it out.” 

 

“It’s delicious,” Castiel argued, licking some frosting off his lips.  He fought the incredible temptation to grab for another one. He was already growing sluggish but his mouth was watering for more.  Slowly he moved away from the counter in search of his water bottle. He found it on the station he had been working at earlier and greedily drank.

 

“Oh it’s good, but there’s still something missing, no big deal… there’s a lot of trial and error with these things and I can drop these little guys off at the elementary school and be a hero for a day,” Dean laughed, adding the pearls and bees to those remaining. “Everybody likes free cupcakes.” 

 

Castiel blinked slowly a few times before moving back to Dean’s side.  He gently took the pearls from Dean and placed them exactly as Dean had on the cupcakes.  The want for another one was still there but Castiel was able to fight it off easier now. Once they were finished Castiel helped him box them up and get them into the fridge.

 

“Alright, what’s next?” Castiel asked wiping his hands off on a towel.

 

“Next, we close up,” Dean smiled fondly, “You’ve been here all day, any regrets?” 

 

“None whatsoever,” Castiel laughed softly. He followed Dean’s instruction and managed to get his entire front soaked when he began washing some of the dishes.  At the sound of Dean’s laughter, Castiel stared at him and pretended to be offended before turning the sprayer right at Dean’s face.

 

He tried to say stop, but he was both laughing and the water was filling his mouth anytime he tried to speak. Damn the guy had good aim, that was for sure. He put his hands up to block it, swallowing as much of the water as he could before tackling the guy to the ground, the hose falling gently from Cas’ hand but landing on the ground with a hard thump on the trigger that meant a large spray headed straight for the ceiling and rushed back down on them. 

 

“Oh I’m so gonna get you back for that,” Dean teased, laughing loudly as they both wiped the water from their faces. 

 

Castiel giggled, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair, “That was fun,” he grinned, trying to stand up but his shoes slipped on the slick floor and landed right back on his butt, “Ow,” he laughed.

 

“Hey, careful...I don’t want you getting hurt,” Dean said, the laughter in his voice died out immediately after watching Cas slide back down to the floor in what looked to be a painful fall. He should have given the guy a heads up, his shoes had good traction for when the mats were being cleaned, but of course, Cas didn’t take the same precautions.

 

“Here, let me help you,” he added, standing up and reaching out a hand to pull Cas to his feet. “You’ve gotta be careful in here, when we get out front it should be easier.” 

 

“Thank you,” Castiel said, his skin tingling at the contact.  He was more careful this time and they finished up the clean up without further incident.  As they were making their way out towards the door Castiel chewed on his lip and caught Dean’s arm, “Dean would you um...would you like to join me for dinner tonight?  At my home?” he asked shyly.

 

Dean couldn’t help but flush, he wasn’t entirely sure it was a date but it seemed more likely than any of their other hangouts had been so he nodded quickly. “Yeah, yes. Sure, just uh, just text me whenever you want me over. If you want I can bring dessert, I know you try to hold back but that’s one hell of a sweet tooth you got Cas.”

 

Castiel huffed out a laugh, “You have no idea,” he said shaking his head, “But I’d like that.  You can come over whenever you like, I just need to shower and change obviously,” he grinned pointing to all the water spots on his clothes.

 

“Oh no, that’s fine...I’ve got a couple more things to do first anyway, like take those cupcakes down and drop them off,” Dean started, feeling a fluttering sensation in his stomach. Was it a date? Was it just two buddies hanging out? He wasn’t sure but fuck if he didn’t want to know. 

 

“I uh, I’ll go home and change and stuff too,” he said awkwardly, and internally wincing at how much of a dork he was being. He wasn’t going to make it weird with his little crush. It was always so much easier for him with women and that had never bothered him before he met Cas, but now it just seemed like everything he did was weird or wrong. 

 

Castiel smiled brightly and nodded, suddenly remembering his hand was still touching Dean’s arm.  He didn’t want to move away, he was becoming too addicted to Dean’s warmth. He swallowed hard and let his fingers trail down until they brushed with Dean’s and pulled away.

 

“Just um, come over whenever you’re ready,” Castiel stammered a bit and backed away towards his bike that he had locked up on the side of the shop.  He held up his hand in an awkward wave and smiled.

 

Dean closed and locked the door behind him and then leaned against the frame. He stood there for a few moments just catching his breath before shaking his head at himself and going on about his day. There were hungry teachers and kids and he had smiles to make. He’d worry about Cas later. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Dean debated his shirt choice for the third time before muttering ‘ _ Fuck it,’ _ to himself and heading out the door. He dressed up a little, wearing a button down and his nicest jeans. It wouldn’t be completely uncomfortable if Cas was in something casual like jeans and a tee shirt, if nothing else, he could take his overshirt off and hang it up under his jacket if necessary, though he didn’t think it would be.

 

It felt like a date.

 

There was an electricity, a charge of  _ something _ powerful between them and Dean had started to trust it, to notice and feel it every single time they were in the same room, and sometimes even when they weren’t, just having Cas closeby was enough to have his skin prickle and his pulse spike. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he climbed the small steps to Cas’ door and knocked. 

 

Castiel glanced at himself in the mirror and quickly ran his fingers through his hair a few times.  It kept sticking up no matter how hard he tried and finally gave up. Blowing out a deep breath he pulled open the door with a warm smile, “Hello Dean, please come in,” he said and pulled back for Dean to step through.  It would be the first time anyone had come inside his house. There wasn’t much to it but he was hoping it didn’t seem too cold. He spent most of his time outside.

 

“How did your delivery go?” he asked.

 

“It was good, the kids went nuts, they always do. I try to spoil a different class every time but I gotta say I’ve taken a liking to Miss Jody’s kids, she teaches a special education class and every single face lights up when I walk in,” he chuckled, “Does wonders for my ego.” 

 

“You uh, you look nice. I really like that tie…” Dean commented, hoping it didn’t reveal too much.

 

“Oh, thank you,” Castiel said, blushing a bit.  He had wanted to dress up a bit for tonight. The dark grey button up and black vest were new but the red tie had been in his collection for a long time now.

 

“You look very nice as well Dean,” Castiel said biting his bottom lip and beckoning him further into the house.

 

He breathed out a sigh of relief when he stepped inside. Most guys didn’t wear ties to casually hang out with their guy friends, so maybe it wasn’t  _ too _ presumptuous to think it was a date. 

 

“Oh here, I brought dessert like I promised,” he said, handing over the small brown box of cookies at his side. They were his favorites and he hoped Cas would enjoy them as well. They were a soft, peanut butter thumbprint cookie with a dark chocolate ganache filled center.

 

Castiel hummed appreciatively, “Mm, these smell amazing,” he said and gently put the box on the counter.  He wanted to eat one right now but he had to check on the chicken he had placed in the oven. It was nearly done and filled his kitchen with a mouthwatering scent.

 

“I hope you’ll like what I made, it’s nothing special.  Just rosemary baked chicken and some pasta,” Castiel said moving back to the box of cookies.  He’d have one and only one for now. Later, after Dean left he’d more and pass out.

 

“Aht,” Dean said, gently swatting his hand…”After dinner, and that sounds pretty special to me, Cas. You went out of your way to make dinner instead of ordering takeout or whatever, it's...that’s cool.”

 

He wanted to show his appreciation in a more physical way, in the way that would bring him closer to Cas, he always wanted to be closer,  _ ached  _ for it in a way he never realized until the man was out of sight and he felt the gaping emptiness inside himself again. “Dessert can wait, wouldn’t want to spoil your appetite.” 

 

Castiel playfully pouted at him and laughed softly, “Okay then,” he said biting his lip as Dean moved closer to him.  Usually, it was Castiel who always inched towards Dean or finding some excuse or another to touch him. To see Dean doing it now made his chest swell.

 

“I’m not sure if I’m any good at it but I do like to cook,” he said.

 

Dean smiled, “I guess we’ll find out,” he said, placing a hand on Cas’ lower back as he looked over his shoulder. “As long as the chicken is cooked through it shouldn’t be too bad.” 

 

He let the aroma fill his nose and held back a groan. “Smells good, that’s for sure.” 

 

Castiel shivered at Dean’s touch and nodded.  He pulled out the tray a bit and checked the temperature.  Thankfully it was right where it should be and they wouldn’t have to wait for too long.  Not that he wanted Dean to move away from him though. He didn't want that at all.

 

“Would you like some wine?  Or beer?” he asked softly, subconsciously leaning into Dean’s touch.

 

Dean debated taking him up on it, having a beer or two or even a glass of wine, not that he indulged in those too often but he found himself saying no without giving it a whole lot of thought. “Water will be fine, for me. Thanks though.” 

 

It had taken him longer than it should have for him to realize how close they were, how he’d reached out and put his hand on Cas without even meaning to do it. But, the man hadn’t looked at him funny or turned him away and Dean found himself growing a little bolder.

 

He moved closer until his lips were pressed along the shell of Cas’ ear before he asked, “Do you need me to get the glasses?”

 

Castiel swallowed hard and shook his head.  The warmth emanating from Dean was tickling along his skin, his eyes closing as he began to soak it in.  His body tilted, leaning closer into Dean’s space and he licked at his dry lips. Their food was going to grow cold but right then, he didn’t care.  Dean was close to him and yet Castiel still yearned for more.  He always did.

 

Dean chuckled, his breath skipping out of Cas’ ear pulling a shiver down his back that Dean felt under his palm. It made him smile. “What, you gonna make me drink it straight from the tap?” he teased, still not moving away, just rubbing small circles at the base of Cas’ spine. He finally felt as if he hadn’t gotten it all wrong, that what he felt when he was with the beautiful man who was steadily becoming one of his best friends, was real, and if his reaction was any kind of sign, Cas undoubtedly felt the same. 

 

“Tell me I haven’t read this wrong, Cas...tell me you, tell me you want something more than friendship,” Dean asked, his nerves swelling in his stomach until it felt as if it were going to burst. 

 

Castiel gasped softly and turned to look up into Dean’s eyes.  They were so beautiful and reminded him so much of spring grass.  He touched the side of Dean’s face and gave him a bright smile, “I do.  I want that very much Dean,” he said softly.

 

Something  _ new _ settled inside his chest and stomach and Dean stopped hesitating. He drew Cas in until there was the softest touch of lips. A spark of energy, whether it was the excitement of finally having what he’d been wanting or something else, he didn’t know. But he gently pulled back with a warm smile still on his lips. “I’m going to kiss you now,  _ really _ kiss you, if you want.” 

 

There was a high pitched noise that took Castiel a few seconds to realize it had come from himself.  His cheeks grew warm but he managed to nod a few times. His fingers fluttered over Dean’s arms until the finally found their place around the man’s shoulders and felt Dean pull him in close.

 

“Yes, please,” he whispered.

 

Dean let what was left of his nerves die away and he pulled Castiel into him with a bit of force, considering they were already close together. He softly tugged at his lips with his teeth before giving into the urgency in his stomach to take, to touch, to  _ taste _ . Somehow he tasted just like the honey he’d brought to the bakery and Dean moaned when the familiar flavor filled his mouth. 

 

When he finally pulled back they were both panting breathlessly, foreheads pressed together as he tried to get the world to stop spinning without them. 

 

Castiel mewled again at the loss of Dean’s lips but had to remember that they needed to breathe at some point.  He nuzzled their foreheads together and took in a deep breath, “That was amazing,” he said softly and bit his bottom lip.  There was a want burning inside of him that wanted to show Dean everything, to  _ tell _ him everything.  It was something he’d only done a few times in the past with it ending well. Other times...Castiel didn't like to dwell on those times too much.  But there was something so different about this Dean, something _permanent_. 

 

Worry made him bite his tongue.  Doubt made him silent. Soon though, soon he’d tell Dean everything.  But for now, he tilted his head up for another kiss and moaned softly as Dean easily gave him what he wanted.

 

They spent too long standing there, kissing against the counter, and yet somehow it still wasn’t enough. For Dean, it wasn’t about getting Cas into bed, though the idea was hardly something he never thought about or wanted, but the need to be closer, the desire for more, wasn’t sexual in nature which came as quite a shock to him. He’d never imagined he could want someone the way he wanted Cas, he craved domesticity, permanence, a future with him. Not some handful of one night stands or a long weekend spent tangled together as strangers. He wanted to know  _ everything _ , to give this man his soul and in return maybe he would  _ know _ Cas in a similar way.

 

Forcing himself to pull back, to keep from making a fool of himself, Dean turned to the side again, glancing down at the prepared meal. 

 

“C’mon, let’s have dinner before we have to start reheating everything.” 

 

Castiel tried to catch his breath a bit and nodded, reaching for the plates and glasses with trembling fingers.  They worked together easily getting their plates filled and then moved to Castiel’s small dining table. Choosing to sit close to each other, their knees bumped as they got comfortable and began to dig in.

 

“Do you like it?” Castiel asked nervously after Dean had taken a few bites.

 

“Yeah, I do. It’s not as plain as you made it out to be. There’s a lot of good flavors on this, the pasta could use a little seasoning but if you mix it in with the chicken, it’s still really good.”

 

“Is this the first meal you’ve cooked? You seemed unsure about it earlier,” Dean asked, curious about Cas’ past and well,  _ everything _ else. He wanted to know the man inside out and he’d hoard any answers he could get.

 

“It’s the first I’ve cooked for someone else in a long time,” he said softly as he brought up the wine glass to his lips.  He took a slow sip and gently set it back on the table. Talking about Inias never sat well with him but Dean deserved to know.  He would keep the worst of it to himself though. He wasn’t ready for it all to be laid out on the table just yet.

 

“He wasn’t exactly kind about it,” he said, pushing his food around a bit before finally scooping some into his mouth.

 

“Woah, no Cas...this is good, it is, I’m not just saying that either. I mean yeah, the pasta would be better with a spice or two, or a packet of seasoning mix or something but I wouldn’t lie to you and tell you it was good if it wasn’t,” he said, feeling the sudden need to explain why he’d said what he did. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that he was honest about the blandness of the pasta. It probably didn’t help convince Cas that the meal was good or that he was appreciative of it, but he hoped that it did at least give his compliment a note of sincerity to it. 

 

“Thank you, I would have appreciated the effort even if it would have been like chewing cardboard, but thankfully neither of us have to suffer through that,” he teased, giving Cas a hopeful look.

 

Castiel’s lips pulled up in a small smile and reached over to squeeze at Dean’s wrist, “Thank you.  I don’t mind you telling me the truth, I know you don’t mean it to be cruel. You’re not like him Dean, you could never be,” he said.

 

“This was your uh, your last partner?” he asked hesitantly. Cas had mentioned him briefly before, enough to say they were both business partners and lovers. “How long has it been since you split up? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

 

“I don’t mind though there are some things I can’t really talk about.  Not that I don’t want you to know it’s just a little hard for me,” he said and leaned back against his chair, “Last time I saw him was a couple of years ago.  It’s taken me that long to finally settle somewhere, to feel like it was home. Safe,” he said. It wasn’t exactly a lie, only the length of time had been changed.  

 

Ten years.  And yet it was still fresh in his mind as if it had happened a few days ago.  The moment he’d been able to get away he had fled to the forest. He nearly forgot how quickly the time went in the human realm where it seemed to crawl at a snail's pace in theirs.

 

“That’s okay, I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to share something that makes you uncomfortable,” Dean said, his expression softening as much as it could while the anger at Castiel’s previous lover flared to life in his gut. “I want to know you Cas, I do...but it’s not something that has to be done all in one night. Just tell me what you’re comfortable with and save the rest for later.”

 

Castiel stared at Dean for a long moment and finally felt himself relax.  He hated that he even had the slightest bit of doubt that this really was his Dean.  His time with Inias made him question everything but even he couldn't destroy this connection he felt down to his bones.  They were soul mates and Castiel knew Dean belonged to him just as he belonged to Dean.  Castiel reached out for Dean’s hand and sighed at the contact, “Thank you Dean. Let’s finish dinner then maybe we can watch a movie? Or take a walk?” Castiel suggested as he drank the last bit of his wine.

 

“Sounds great to me,” he answered, smiling as he took another bite of his chicken. “The chicken is really amazing, Cas...if you wanna make pasta again though, let me help.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel pulled Dean in close and both of them laughed breathlessly as they stole several more kisses.  They were at the market again and the moment Castiel had seen Dean, he stole a few minutes for himself to kiss the man senseless.  After Dean had playfully badgered him to, Castiel finally hired someone to help him manage the sales at the market but that was as far as it went.  Everything else Castiel wanted to take care of himself. The fiery redhead who turned out to be one of Dean’s best friends just quirked her brow at them as Castiel dragged him behind the giant farmhouse.

 

“Missed you,” Castiel sighed as he pulled Dean in again but this time he pressed his face in against Dean’s neck.  He smelled amazing, like always but since the weather was becoming warmer it was stronger now.

 

“Missed you too, sweetheart,” Dean said, letting Cas snuggle close. They hadn’t been together more than a few weeks but it still somehow felt like the first time and that they’d been doing it for years all at once. “How’s Charls workin’ out, she keeping a tight ship so I can carry you off over my shoulder like a medieval knight?”

 

Dean’s footsteps staggered, and his breathing became a little more labored as images flashed in his mind. Cobblestone at his back and something hard, warm, pressed against his front. Pain searing into his cheek as whatever stood before him, buzzed in an inhuman way. There was no fear, no panic, no concern over his well being, only guilt, only love, only peace.

 

“Dean?” Castiel looked up into his face and swallowed hard.  He’d seen this before and gently cupped Dean’s face, “Dean, come back to me,” he said softly, letting his glamour dim just enough for his voice to hold some power to it.  Dean’s eyes fluttered a bit and Castiel pushed a smile on his face, “Hey, you spaced out for a second,” he said and gently kissed at Dean’s lips.

 

“Oh, sorry…” he said, not sure what it was that had taken him out of the moment. Normally it was impossible for him to focus on anything other than Cas. He shrugged it off, maybe he just needed more sleep. It had been a while since he got a full eight, though the standard four usually did him just fine, he was getting a bit older.

 

“Anyway, you ready to blow this Popsicle stand? Or do you need to be here to keep an eye on Charls?”

 

“I guess I could run away with you for a little while,” Castiel grinned.  There was a shout of Dean’s name and Castiel frowned as he peeked around the corner to find Dean’s younger brother looking around curiously, “I believe Sam is looking for you,” he said with a frown.

 

“Ugh, the kid is grown now, you think he’d stop being such a cock block,” Dean teased, though they hadn’t pushed things very far. He was patient though, completely content with everything Cas was giving him, they just hadn’t spent enough time making out in his opinion, that’s all.

 

Dean sighed, “I’ll be back.”

 

He made his way over to Sam, the bitterness at having been stolen from Cas, slowly ebbing away as he looked fondly over his kid brother. “Whaddya want, bitch?” he asked, a light teasing tone but it still earned him a few glares from some young mothers.

 

He winced and looked back at them apologetically with his most charming smile and that seemed to do the trick. Well, they stopped glaring at least.

 

“Were you sucking face with Castiel again? Sheesh,” Sam teased, playfully punching Dean in the arm, “Feels like I haven’t seen ya in a while, wanna go out tonight or somethin?” he asked.  Sure enough when he looked over to where Dean had appeared Castiel came around the corner blushing.

 

“I can’t, Sammy. Cas and I have plans. We’re going to that uh, that thing over in Wichita...with the plants?” Dean said, his memory failing him just when he needed it. “Oh! Botanical Gardens or some shit, I read about it online and knew Cas would freak.”

 

Sam shook his head with a snort, “You two been spending a lot of time together,” he said.  It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t exactly an accusation more so a statement. Sam was curious about Castiel.  He’d only interacted with the guy maybe a few times and practically knew nothing about him. Usually, he’d be worried that Dean was getting in over his head but there was something shifting in his brother, something Sam hadn’t seen before.  He just wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing just yet.

 

“Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy...but look, if you’re lonely, we can always hang out tomorrow, okay? I’ll make sure to keep the evenin’ clear just for you,” Dean teased, smiling at the offended look on his brother’s face.

 

_Exactly what he wanted._

 

“Go on, get out of here with your hot date,” Sam laughed pushing Dean away from him.

 

Castiel anxiously moved around his booth and kept trying to tell himself that everything would be fine and that Charlie knew what she was doing.  She’d even gently brushed a bee away instead of mindlessly swatting at it. That alone had him trusting the woman. He was about to count the baskets again when he heard a crunch of footsteps and calming instantly.  Dean was walking back towards them and Castiel gave him a shy smile.

 

“C’mon, bossman...I’m kidnapping you and we’re bustin’ outta here.” Dean said, grabbing Cas’ hand and pulling him toward the exit with a wave to Charlie over his shoulder.

 

Castiel grinned and moved in closer, “Everything okay with Sam?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I just think the kid’s feelin’ a little neglected. I’ll spend some time with him tomorrow and everything will be right as rain by Monday,” Dean said, pulling their joined hands to his lips to kiss softly at Castiel’s knuckles.

 

Castiel tried to feel guilty about stealing all of Dean’s time but it was quickly washed away the moment he was cuddling into Dean’s side as he drove.  It was the only way he could stand being in the car and thankfully Dean didn’t complain. They talked about things here and there, mostly about their business and Castiel’s excitement that his lavender honey came out amazingly and was being well received.  

 

Castiel threw his head back laughing as Dean told him about some story of how he and Sam got caught skinny dipping when they were children and had to run through town naked to get back home.  It reminded Castiel so much of something else that had happened a long, long time ago. A time that Dean wouldn’t remember but Castiel did. He didn’t want to believe it, was almost frightened to after his time with Inias but the more time he spent with Dean the more it was becoming hard to ignore.  

 

“So we’ve been driving for a while and you’ve been patient with my constant needing to stop.  Will you please tell me where we’re going now?” He asked leaning in to kiss at Dean’s cheek.

 

Dean flushed, a bit embarrassed at how much research had been put into this particular date but he wanted to impress Cas.  Not to mention the more he learned about the place the more it seemed to just _fit_ everything his boyfriend was. It felt right in a way that not many things had, outside of Cas at least.

 

“It’s a garden, with all kinds of flowers and sh-stuff, It could be lame or whatever but I thought you’d like it…” he said, covering all his bases. If Cas wasn’t impressed the least they could do was make fun of it together, he told himself. He didn’t want to set either of them up for disappointment.

 

Castiel’s eyes widened, “Dean...you are amazing,” he said and kissed all over his face laughing when Dean playfully pushed at his head, “It won’t be lame, it’ll be wonderful,” he said leaning his head down on Dean’s shoulder.

 

“Well I saw some pictures online, it looked okay but who knows, they might have some weird ass stuff in there,” Dean teased, though he did relax a bit at Castiel’s reassurance.

 

The road stretched out in front of him and the most beautiful man he’d ever seen at his side, Dean couldn’t have been happier.

 

“Guess there’s only one way to find out,” he said, pressing down a bit harder on the gas pedal.

 

Castiel was content sitting there next to Dean when they finally started seeing signs for the gardens.  Castiel couldn’t help bouncing in his seat now and eagerly crawled out of the car when Dean finally parked.  Just from the outside Castiel could already tell that it was going to be amazing inside. There were so many different colors of flowers everywhere and that gentle buzz was back in his ear.  A hand pushed into his and he squeezed at Dean’s fingers.

 

“I’m excited,” he laughed softly and began to pull Dean towards the entrance.

 

“Well don’t get your hopes up too high,” he said with a chuckle, filing in through the door after a few couples and some families too. They were ready to pass out the pancakes it looked like, so Dean pulled Cas to a chair by the door. He wasn’t sure about the quality of food, he’d tried to email some people but apparently, his request of a recipe hadn’t warranted a response.

 

They turned out to be okay, not as good as his own but standard pancakes as it went. Though he had to admit the heated white corn syrup they used was a bit like crack, it seemed for both him and Cas.

 

Castiel took the box and frowned when he suddenly realized there were butterflies inside.  He nearly ripped it open right then to let them out but Dean gently stopped him. Castiel bit his tongue and somehow managed to wait until they got the go ahead.  The boxes were opened and the multicolored butterflies filled the air. Castiel smiled brightly and turned to look at Dean who was staring at him with a mixture of awe and fondness.

 

“What?” he asked.  Dean said nothing but pointed.  Several of the butterflies had settled along his arms and Castiel grinned.

 

“Oh, they must be attracted to the syrup!” one of the workers said.  Castiel bit his lip, not wanting to say anything but he gently blew some air on them to get them flying.  All but one. It was beautiful with huge orange and yellow monarch wings. Castiel reached out to pet it but was quickly chastised by the same worker.  He wanted to berate the woman, that _he_ wouldn’t hurt them but he remained silent.  

 

“He doesn’t want to leave,” Castiel whispered holding out his hand and smiling when the butterfly fluttered to his open palm.

 

“C’mon, we’ll sneak out the back and maybe they won’t notice…” Dean said, leading Castiel out toward the side entrance and into the large greenhouse. “Guess we better hope he sticks around for a while though, I don’t know that it would be safe in here for him once the sprinklers get going and stuff...should we go back to the butterfly part?”

 

There was a gentle hum against his ear and he smiled, putting the butterfly on his shoulder, “He’ll be fine,” he said and took Dean’s hand.  The responding grin on Dean’s face had Castiel’s chest swelling and they began to walk slowly through the gardens. Everything was beautiful and they stopped every now and then to allow the butterfly to eat but it always managed to catch up with them, settling back on Castiel’s shoulder.

 

When they reached the middle of the garden Castiel stilled.  The entire place must have been built around the massive, ancient willow tree but Castiel remembered it when it stood alone.  He glanced at Dean shyly and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He also remembered the times he spent here with a certain past version of his soul mate.  But then, he’d gone by Deacon and that life hadn't ended well for them.

 

Gently he pulled on Dean’s hand to get closer and the familiar pulse of old magick spread along his skin and he sighed.  It had been their place for a short while until they’d been ripped apart. Castiel looked up at Dean and was hopeful that out of all of them, this would be the one that Dean _wouldn’t_ remember.

 

There was a recognition inside him that Dean didn’t quite understand. His chest felt full and hollow at the same time, it was unbelievably confusing. Somehow at that moment, he felt as if he were in two conflicting states of mind. Part of him had never been so happy, another part of him so empty, so alone that it threw him into darkness. There was an unbearable ache inside him while still feeling so truly content with having Cas’ fingers gently squeezed between his own.

 

Dean looked up at the willow tree in confusion, unsure how such a thing could bring so much out of him, alive or not.

 

Castiel turned to ask Dean if he’d like to get a drink but stopped short.  There was a tear trailing down Dean’s cheek and Castiel gently brushed it away, a wave of guilt rushing over him.  It happened sometimes, that Dean would begin to remember bits of pieces of the past the longer they were together.

 

“Huh?” he asked, looking down when he felt Castiel’s touch on his cheek. When his finger came away wet, Dean blinked in surprise.

 

He hadn’t realized he was crying.

 

“I uh…” he didn’t know how to explain it, what must have come over him for such heavy emotions to have been drawn out so easily. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, let’s uh, let’s get out of here.

 

They were about to do just that when Dean put a hand to the tree and staggered forward, flashes of rows and rows of white tents, blue and red uniforms, and the foul smell of gunpowder in his nose.

 

Castiel gasped when Dean’s knees buckled and nearly fell to the ground, “Dean!” he swallowed hard and helped ease him down to the ground and like before gently cupped his face.  This time though he peeked to see what Dean was seeing and cursed under his breath.

 

The smell alone told him all he needed to know, “Dean, come back to me please,” he whispered.

 

_“Deacon!  Please don’t leave me!”_

 

_“I have to, they need me and it’s not right, what these people are doin’ down here and you know it… I can’t just walk away while people are hurtin’,” he said, he didn’t care if they were black, brown, yellow, or polka dotted, ownin’ somebody the way the plantation farmers wanted to own them, wasn’t right, wasn’t American, as far as he was concerned at least._

 

_“I love you, but I-I have to go.”_

 

_“And what if you don’t come back?  I know I’m being selfish but what do I do?” Castiel begged.  He wasn’t used to being around humans on his own, Deacon always took care of him, helped him learn how to appear like them.  Without him, Castiel was lost._

 

_“You’ll hide, wait if you have to and I’ll come back to you. I’ll always find you,” he answered, pulling the man in until their lips met. Whether it was again’ the law or not, he didn’t care. He wasn’t goin’ to let some backwater jackass tell him who he could love and he’d never loved anyone like he’d loved his-_

 

“Dean!” Castiel nearly yelled.  They were gaining attention and he was beginning to grow nervous.  Not only that but the vision was going to reveal who he really was and he wasn’t ready for this version of his soul mate to know that yet.  He pinched at Dean’s stomach and nearly jumped back when Dean flinched hard.

 

“Cas? I-where was I?” Dean asked, still feeling as if he was dreaming or...or something.

 

Castiel swallowed hard, “I-I don’t know Dean.  Come on, let’s get you out of the sun,” he said gently.  He got Dean’s arm over his shoulders and helped him up to his feet.

 

After a couple of bottles of water, Dean started to feel a little better though something about _everything_ just felt a little off. As if every detail of his life had shifted over half an inch and now it was a whole new picture and he just felt completely helpless to navigate it.

 

He drove home without any issues, thankfully, he’d have hated to put his baby’s life in danger, but he could tell Cas was uncomfortable in her and he didn’t want to ask him to drive.

 

Dean bit his lip when he pulled into Cas’ driveway. “I uh, I think I’m just gonna go home, is that okay?”

 

Castiel couldn’t help it.  The same loneliness he had felt all these years without him slammed into him but he nodded even if his chin trembled.  He swallowed it down and looked over at Dean with a forced smile, “Get some rest Dean,” he said and kissed at Dean’s cheek.  His own voice calling after Deacon to not leave him pulled at his chest and he scrambled out of the car to hurry inside.

 

Dean drove the few blocks back to his own house in a haze.

 

Something had happened to him out there, he wasn’t sure what, and that only made things crazier. He sat in the car for a long time, just staring at his house like he’d never seen it before, and also like he’d lived there for the last six years and had helped restore it with his own two hands.

 

He needed a drink.

* * *

 

Sam flipped through his textbook only to pause as he heard the front door open and close.  Frowning he got up to find his brother looking completely out of it as he walked through the house.  And not in a “I just got kissed within an inch of my life” kind of haze either. He hurried over to Dean and gently grabbed at his shoulders, “Hey, hey you alright?”

 

Dean ignored Sam until he could feel the burn of whiskey in his throat. “Yeah, yeah...just-just feeling off.”

 

He took another swig straight from the bottle and looked up at Sam half feeling like he was a stranger and the other half knowing every single detail about the kid. It was fucked up and yet it wasn’t seeming to get any better.

 

“You ever had this like...daydream where you were someone else, you were with a friend or something and then when you come back it still feels like part of you is gone and someone else is in your place. Like you’re you, but also not you?”

 

Dean didn’t wait for Sam to answer just took another drink from the bottle and moved toward the living room.  

 

Sam followed him slowly, “Um, no?  I mean I’ve had some pretty detailed dreams before but nothing like that.  Did somethin happen between you and Cas?” he asked.

 

“Yes-No-Yes,” Dean answered, not sure which part of him to trust anymore. There was _him_ who had never hurt Cas, never left him to ruins, then there was also _him_ who had turned his back on the man he loved because he thought he was meant for something greater. That he was some kind of hero, and all that kind of thinkin’ got him, was dead.

 

“I don’t know,” he finished lamely.

 

Sam opened his mouth to ask what happened but it was clear Dean wasn’t going to be able to answer him clearly, “Hey, why don’t you go take a cool shower and lay down for a bit,” he said and helped Dean up before his brother could actually answer him.  Thankfully Dean didn’t fight him as Sam lead him into the master bedroom and closed the door once he was inside.

 

Something had happened and Sam needed to find out what.  Chewing on his lip he grabbed his cell phone and hurried out of the house toward Castiel’s.

 

Castiel paced his home, his breath coming in and out sharply.  He was on the verge of panicking and he needed to get away from everything that was _human_.  Nearly tripping on himself he rushed out of the house into the small but thick grouping of trees in his backyard.  It was the only place he could drop everything and not worry about prying eyes.

 

His fingers sank into the earth and he gasped softly as all his glamor slipped away.   His senses magnified along with the physical changes in his body. The gentle hum was back and he looked over to see several of his bees making their way to flutter around him, comforting him.  He sunk to the ground and took in a deep calming breath.

  


* * *

  


Sam grimaced at the sight of Castiel’s house. He’d known that the guy lived close to Dean but not _this_ close. The house itself wasn’t creepy or anything but there was something about it that crawled under his skin and left a bad taste in his mouth. It was normal enough, actually _too_ normal. Most houses had some sort of personality, even if the owners weren’t much on decoration, there was a _feeling_ to them when you got close.

 

There was nothing here as if nobody lived there.

 

He walked up the porch steps, preparing himself to knock when something _inhuman_ cried out from behind the house.

 

Sam rushed back there, half terrified that Castiel was in danger. He expected something dark and twisted when he pushed around the side of the house but instead, the figure in front of him was almost glowing in the iridescent light.

 

The figure was clearly upset, panicked, angry, hurt, everything was rolling off it in waves but there was such a beauty to it, even from the back that Sam was drawn in. Long straight hair flowing down past her waist, Who was she?

 

“Miss, you okay?” Sam asked, only to fall on his ass the moment the figure turned around and hissed at him.  The creature stood and Sam swallowed hard as he frantically tried to crab walk away.  The thing was tall, almost taller than himself and it's eyes...they were inhumanly blue and glowing against its pale white skin.  It's pointed ears poked out through the glossy black hair and when its hands rose Sam nearly screamed.  They weren't hands at all but claws meant to tear flesh.

 

Castiel stared at Sam, anxiety slamming into him with such a force he reacted without thinking.  Sam had seen him. In his true form and he couldn’t let the boy leave with that memory. He took a step forward and Sam scurried back, his hands slipping on the slick grass and fell onto his back.

 

“I will not hurt you Sam,” Castiel said walking slowly.

 

“Wh-what are you?” Sam asked, his voice quivering as a lick of fear chased up his spine. Not only was he terrified of whatever this was, but it had done something to Dean so he was also pissed, and trying to hold back.

 

“That does not matter.  You will not remember this,” Castiel said, his head flicking to the side in a tilt.  Sam was up on his feet in the next second, tearing across Castiel’s home in long strides.  Castiel sighed. Humans could never outrun him, not out here when he could easily pass through the shadow of a tree.  He did so and Sam went flying back again with a scream.

 

“I can’t let you leave knowing my true form.  I’m sorry Sam,” Castiel said and before Sam could utter another sound Castiel surged forward and grabbed the sides of his face.  He hated doing this. The hate and fear that always poured out of the human he was making forget always made him feel sickly afterward.  He pushed his glamor into Sam’s mind, erasing the images of his true self. As he did so, he covered himself up. Going back to his human skin so the next time Sam looked up at him he was seeing what he did remember of Castiel.  A mere human.  

He gently let go of Sam and let a look of concern wash over his face as he went to kneel down next to the boy.

 

“Cas...what?” Sam started, frantically looking around as if trying to find something that was blocked in his mind.  A dark feeling curled in his stomach, his brain was screaming that there was something missing from all of this but he couldn't figure out what it was! He needed to leave, to get back to his brother.  That same voice that was screaming at him began to nag at him to push for answers, to make the man talk. “What did-What did you do to me?”

 

“What are you talking about Sam? I heard a noise and found you out here.  Is Dean alright? He wasn’t feeling well earlier on our date,” Castiel asked reaching his hand out to help Sam up but flinched when the younger boy scuttled back away from him.

 

“Sam-”

 

“No...no I don’t know what you did to me but I know it was something…”

 

Sam turned away and headed back to his car feeling an eerie shiver move down his spine as he felt the eyes watching him on the back of his neck. He was going to go take care of Dean and then he was going to figure out what the hell was going on with this guy before his brother got any more invested.

* * *

 

Dean was asleep when he got there, passed out with a bottle of gin in his hand. It had been a long time since Sam had found him that way and he wasn’t liking the fact that it seemed like something Castiel had said or done dragged him back to the whiskey.

 

He straightened up the house a little and ordered some takeout, waiting for his brother to finally stir from his bed. When that didn’t happen after two hours, Sam went in after him.

 

Sam knocked on his brother’s door.  He should have gone for a more gentle approach but he was freaking out inside.  He needed to talk to Dean before Castiel could and possibly sway him or do whatever mojo he’d done to himself.

 

“Dean, c’mon man you gotta wake up,” Sam called out.

 

“Sammy?” he said, his head pounding along with the knocks. “Fuck man,” he hissed out, rubbing at his eyes. “Just a minute, Dammit Sam, be quiet.”

 

He laid there for another few minutes but decided he’d better get up and get something to fix the nasty taste in his mouth before his brother came knocking again. When he finally stepped outside he felt slightly more human, though a cup of coffee would have certainly helped.

 

“Dean, I know you’re probably hungover right now but I gotta talk to you about Cas,” Sam started, following behind Dean.  He kept glancing over his shoulder at the front door expecting Castiel to just appear there. It was a strange and very disturbing feeling.

 

“Not hungover, just a little bit of a headache,” Dean said, “Talk but make it quiet while I get coffee,” he said already reaching for the freshly ground beans.

 

Sam swallowed down the hard thud of his heart and waited for Dean to finally take his sip of coffee before he started going off, “I don’t think you should see Castiel anymore.  Tell him you can’t be with him or whatever, just do what you can so you don’t see him again,” Sam said.

 

“I’m gonna need more than that, Sam...I like the guy, might even...might even more than like him,” Dean confessed, though he’d barely even admitted it to himself that it was true. It had been for a long time, maybe since he’d first laid eyes on him in that farmer’s market.

 

Sam bristled at that, quickly shaking his head, “Dean you gotta put a lid on that.  There’s something off about him, like _really_ off.  I went to his house earlier and the next thing I know I’m on the ground and he’s hovering over me.  I don’t remember anything but I know he did something to me-”

 

_Knock Knock_

 

“Dean, don’t answer that,” Sam said.

 

“Sammy I owe it to the man to at least give him a chance to explain what happened, you told me yourself you don’t even remember...it could be nothing,” Dean said, shaking his head as he moved toward the front door.

 

He was jerked back a little when Sam grabbed his arm but he looked at his brother and frowned.

 

“Cas, come on in,” he said, calling out instead of wrenching his arm away.

 

Castiel rushed in but stopped short when he saw Sam clutching at Dean’s arm, “Dean...can we talk?” he asked.

 

“Stay away from him,” Sam ordered moving to stand in between them, “I don’t know what the hell you are but stay away from my brother.”

 

“Sammy, I understand you’re freaked out and stuff...but Cas isn’t going to hurt me. Let’s all just have a seat and talk about whatever the hell happened while I was asleep,” Dean said, motioning toward the couch. He took another gulp of his warm coffee and eased himself down on the soft cushion.

 

Sam stayed standing and so did Castiel, the both of them staring at each other, “Go ahead Castiel, tell Dean what happened,” he hissed out.

 

Castiel flinched but didn’t lower his eyes.  He’d lie, for now, the truth was only meant for Dean’s ears, “I told you Sam.  I heard a noise and found you outside on the ground,” he said slowly.

 

“Bullshit, then why did you race over here to talk to Dean?”

 

“I didn’t race Sam.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s been a good twenty minutes or so since you left my house.  I came here to see if Dean was feeling better. I-I even brought over some peppermint from my garden,” Castiel said holding up the bag.

 

“I’m fine, sweetheart...just needed a nap apparently, and well...half a bottle of gin, but most of that’s gone now.”

 

Dean reached out for Cas out of habit but Sam’s giant arm came up and knocked his hands down. “Dude, what the actual fuck? Look, I get that you’re worried or whatever, but I know Cas well enough to know that he’d never hurt me, Sam. _Never_...so whatever you’re worried about, it can’t be anything too bad.”

 

“Dean!  He’s not...he’s not fucking human man!  He did something to me and it’s like you don’t even care!” Sam shouted and then without realizing it he was in Castiel’s face, pushing him up against one of the walls of the house, “What the fuck did you do to him?”

 

“Sam, let me go. Now,” Castiel demanded, his entire body beginning to tremble with the effort to keep himself together.

 

“Hey Cas, you human?” Dean asked, humoring his brother as best he could. It’s not that he didn’t trust Sam, he did, but he also knew Cas in the depths of his soul and if he wasn’t human, he wasn’t human. But he also knew that the guy, whatever he was, wasn’t any kind of threat to him. They called to one another in a way that could not be faked or manufactured.

 

Castiel opened his mouth to answer him but found he couldn’t lie to him.  Not about something this huge and not so bluntly asked. He shoved Sam away from him and ran out of the house, not stopping until he was in his own home.

 

“What did I tell you Dean!” Sam shouted, fingers going through his hair.  He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and began to call 9-1-1.

 

Dean easily pulled the phone from Sam’s hand and dropped it into his coffee mug. “No, whatever you think you’re doing, don’t,” Dean said, the anger building in his gut. Never in his life had he been so disappointed, so angry, with his brother. Sure, Cas hadn’t been full disclosure but Dean had damn well told him that he didn’t want him revealing anything that would make him uncomfortable and he imagined the most uncomfortable you could get was whatever version of _I’m not exactly human_.

 

“Sam, I’m only going to say this once more. Whatever Cas is, he would never hurt me. He would never hurt anyone.” Dean shook his head and headed toward the door, waiting for Sam to follow. “I know you’re freaking out, I know you’re scared and pissed off and you think he’s got some kind of evil spell on me but I’m telling you it’s not just a blind love or trust I have for the guy. He’s earned it every step of the way and now I’m asking that you can trust me, just a little bit. Let me prove it to you that he’s not a bad person.”

 

Sam stared at his brother and nodded, “I um...maybe you should go talk to him first.  I need to sort some things out in my head,” he said swallowing hard.

 

Dean didn’t really want to leave Sam alone, part of him was still worried that his brother would call the cops or something and either get Cas thrown in jail or his own dumbass thrown in some sort of mental hospital.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid, and don’t use this time I’m gonna take trying to find out what’s going on with my boyfriend...as some kind of fuel for your ‘he’s got a spell on me’ bullshit.” Dean grabbed his jacket and stepped outside. “Be back later, Sammy."


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel crashed into his house sobbing.  He had to leave. He couldn’t stay here anymore.  Sam knew he wasn’t human, his glamor hadn’t worked properly and now he was going to be hunted.  And the way Dean had asked if he was human like it was some joke or something. It broke his heart in a million different ways.

 

Gods he didn’t want to leave again.  The loneliness was too much and it had taken him forever to finally find a place to settle at, to call home.  Shaking his head he rushed into his bedroom and began shoving his clothes hastily into his suitcase. It didn’t matter.  He’d get over it and in another hundred years, another version of Dean would be reborn. Castiel swallowed hard at that, not wanting to go through that again either.  Even the versions Castiel couldn’t manage to find, he felt each of their deaths deep into his bones. Each time a chunk of his soul was chipped off and he wasn’t sure how much he had left.

 

Castiel dropped his suitcase near the front door and nearly started sobbing again when he heard his bees calling for him.  The low buzzing almost frantic in his ears.  He couldn’t just leave them behind! Hanging his head low he walked across his property to his hives and sunk down to his knees.

 

“I don’t want to go,” he said miserably, “It was stupid of me to become attached.  There’ve only been a handful of times where it ended well for us. That I was able to watch him grow old and pass away with a smile on his face.  I was hoping, praying that this one would be like those. I haven’t been able to find him in so long and after everything with Inias, I should have known this would end badly,” Castiel mumbled, sniffling loudly as his tears hit the ground beneath him.  Small yellow daisies sprouted from them and he gently caressed their petals with his fingers.

 

“I couldn’t help myself, I-I missed him so much,” he gasped, letting his eyes close as his head tilted back.

 

Dean’s eyes widened a bit when he saw the flowers spring up next to where Cas was kneeling. Instinctively, he wanted to move forward, to comfort Cas but the words came before he could gather the strength or the courage and then bits of the previous day came back to him, moments where he was there, with Cas, when he wasn’t him…and then it started to make sense. 

 

Dean was human, had always been human, but...but maybe there’s something that keeps bringing him back, back to Cas, back to what they’re supposed to share. It would explain the way it feels as though he’s loved the man longer than he’s been alive, longer than he could have possibly been alive, and also for such a short time that they’ve known one another in this life. 

 

“I missed you too, Cas,” Dean said, pushing himself closer, not hesitating at the shocked look he found in those gorgeous cerulean eyes. “I didn’t know it, not the way you probably did, but I have ached for you since the day I was born. There was this...this emptiness inside me that I was so used to having that I didn’t even notice it was there until you came along. You filled it up and you made me whole again and suddenly everything felt real again, felt  _ right _ .” 

 

He reached out, slowly, giving Cas a chance to back away. When he didn’t, Dean cupped his face and ran a thumb over his cheek. “I don’t know what you are, I don’t care that you’re not human, the only thing that matters to me is if you’re mine...are you mine, Cas?”

 

A sob tore its way out of Castiel’s chest as he reached up to grip onto Dean’s wrist, “I’ve always been yours Dean,” he whispered.  His whole body ached to be with Dean, the words were locked in his throat making it hard for him to breathe, “I-I can’t stay.”

 

“You can,” Dean said, clutching desperately at the hand that came to him. “You can and you will. I’ll talk to Sam, we’ll get this straightened out but…” Dean knelt to the ground beside his boyfriend, his soulmate, and he smiled. “But even if you have to leave, even if you  _ have  _ to go, it won’t be alone. I’ll go with you.” 

 

“No.  Your life is here, I can’t ask you to do that.  Not even…” Castiel swallowed hard and looked down where his hands had fallen onto his lap, “I so badly wanted this one to end differently,” he said just above a whisper.  He wasn’t sure if Dean had heard him; it didn’t matter, the decision was made. And it was the right one...wasn't’ it? 

 

“Cas...you don’t have to leave me but if you think there’s no other way, then like hell I’m letting you go again,” Dean said, an ache started to throb in his chest as if it was preparing him but he shook his head and became even more determined. “Don’t make me lose you again, please...not again, not so soon.” 

 

Castiel shook his head and started to sob again, “Dean, I-I Gods I can’t do this again,” Castiel gasped, yanking Dean in and desperately clinging to him, “I couldn’t find you for so long,” he whined turning his head to hide his face against Dean’s neck.  He’d been an idiot to try and convince himself that Dean was anyone else but his soulmate. Now that he was allowing himself to admit it, the scent that was the same with each past life came to him in full force. It was a deep undertone of the sage they had played in when they were children.

 

“I’m here now, I’m here now Cas and I’m not going anywhere…” Dean pulled him against his chest, almost forcefully with how quick the movement came but there wasn’t any resistance and that assured him at least momentarily. 

 

“C’mon, let’s get inside, or come home with me...we can figure out the details,” Dean said, mumbling to himself to make sure Sammy wasn’t doing anything stupid, “And then if we need to run, we’ll pack a bag and get in baby and just drive until we see the ocean, whatever you need from me Cas, I’ll give it...but hiding here in the dirt, it’s not helping you, it’s not helping anyone.” 

 

“I wasn’t hiding, I was saying goodbye,” Castiel pouted, slowly sitting up and wiping at his face.  He got up to his feet and held his hand out for Dean’s. The warmth that always came along with Dean’s touch made him shiver and he couldn't stop pulling Dean in closer.  He never realized just how cold he was until Dean was near him. It was always like this with them. 

 

Castiel lead him past the house and into the small wooded area.  It was quiet, the only sounds being a random cricket or the buzzing of one of Castiel’s bees.  He sat down on one of the fallen tree trunks and gently pulled Dean down to sit next to him.

 

“Why do you think you need to leave?” Dean asked, frowning a bit at the thoughts of having to pack his things and go. He’d do it, sure… but that didn’t mean he would enjoy leaving his friends, his family, his bakery behind. 

 

Castiel looked down at their joined hands and squeezed a little, just needing to feel something real and solid for a moment, “Because once someone sees me, it never takes long for everything to go horribly wrong.  It happens...every time,” he said softly.

 

“What do you mean? Sam? He won’t say anything Cas...I-Well I can’t promise, the kid is an idiot sometimes but if he does, I’ll go with you. Why do you think you have to leave  _ alone _ ?” 

 

Castiel stared at him for a moment, just wanting to memorize those amazing eyes again before he looked away, “To keep you safe,” he said after a few minutes of silence.  It never failed that someone would see him or find out and they’d come after him. Sometimes they’d run, others they’d stand their ground. Each time ended the same with Dean dying in his arms.  He swallowed hard and blew out a shaky breath.

 

“Okay, obviously I’m missing something....tell me why you’re scared, what’s happened.” 

 

“Sam was right about me.  I’m not...I’m not human Dean.  And a very, very long time ago, I was cursed by my kind,” Castiel said quietly, the buzzing around them growing a little louder.  It brought a small smile to his face that they were trying their hardest to cover up his voice so  _ they _ wouldn’t be able to hear him.  He held up his hand and a few bees landed on his fingertips.  When he looked at Dean he sighed, “They were angry that I had fallen in love with a human.”

 

“Well that’s stupid...I mean we have our own kinds of stupid but people are starting to learn, starting to be better. Maybe your people have-.”

 

“No, Dean.  There’s no changing their minds.  Only a few of them can see past their prejudices but the majority, hate your kind.  There’s a long history of it that I’d rather not get into right now,” he said with a sigh, “There was a time that we coexisted with each other and that’s how it was possible that we...that I met the first version of you.” 

 

“Tell me about it,” he said, finding a small smile growing on his face. He couldn’t remember them all, didn’t even have a good picture of the one he thought he saw but he wanted to know them, each and every one. He wanted their future, their past, not to remain a mystery any longer.

 

Castiel smiled and gently touched his fingers to Dean’s temple, “I can do something better,” he said softly.

 

_ Castiel peered through the bushes, his curiosity growing tenfold at the new group of those...humans that settled at the edge of his family’s forest.  He was warned to stay away, that humans wouldn’t like him but he was desperate to see for himself. There was a scuffling sound next to him and he tried to scramble back into the bush but fell forward instead. _

 

_ “Hi!” he said, waving warmly to the odd looking boy in front of him. He saw the pointed ears and the dark hair, and the odd colored eyes but, but there was something warm and sweet about the presence that he couldn’t stay away like his father had told him to...he wanted to be closer. “I’m Daene, what’s your name?”  _

 

_ Castiel moved into a crouch and tilted his head to the side.  The noises from the human made him giggle and he crawled closer.  The human smiled back at him and made another noise that sounded almost like a laugh.  Castiel grinned wide and made a face, giggling loudly when the human boy laughed again.  He didn’t understand anything the boy was trying to say to him but then he pointed to himself and said “Daene.”   _

 

_ “Daene,” Castiel tried and both of them laughed excitedly.  It was the boy’s name! Castiel pointed to himself and said softly, “Castiel.”  It was against their laws to tell a human their name. Humans would use it against them in anyway they could but Castiel didn’t believe that about this boy.  Besides, Castiel really wanted Daene to be his friend. _

 

_ “C-Castie-Cas?CAS!” Daene finally decided, they both giggled uncontrollably again for a while, but his new friend Cas was nice, and kind of pretty, he didn’t seem like a demon at all. His dad wouldn’t like that he was being nice to Cas but Daene could keep a secret.  _

 

_ There was a shortbread biscuit in his pocket and though he didn’t normally share his mother’s treats, Dean pulled it out and broke it into halves. “Mmm, yum,” he said, rubbing his belly as he pretended to eat it, hoping to give Cas a clue that it was okay.  _

 

_ Castiel leaned in close and sniffed at it.  It smelled amazingly sweet and he chewed on his lip, wondering if this was one of those kinds of treats his family warned him about.  He took the small offer and placed it on his tongue, mimicking Daene as he chewed it. The taste burst on his tongue and he moaned softly.  Before he could ask for more someone came bursting through the trees and Castiel squeaked, scrambling back into his bush.  _

 

_ “Daene!  What...was that a forest child I just saw?  Little one, I told you they’re dangerous!” Meara said, her mouth dropping open in shock.  She thought she’d taught her son better than to go running into the woods by himself. _

 

_ “Come, now!” she said with a firm tone. _

 

_ “He’s not dangerous-hes my friend,” Daene answered, though he still followed his Ma back to the house. At least for a moment, and then he realized that his friend couldn’t understand his ma, wouldn’t realize that he’d come back.  _

 

_ Daene made a break for it, winding back down the path that led to the trees and when he neared their edges he cried out, “Cas!”  _

 

_ Castiel rubbed at his eyes but perked up when he heard Daene’s voice calling out to him.  He peeked out from behind a tree shyly but smiled when Daene ran up to him. _

 

_ “I don’t want to go,” he said, though he wasn’t sure Cas understood. Instead, he put his hand out and flexed his fingers, waiting for Cas to do the same. There were little black claws on his hand but they didn’t hurt, didn’t prick his skin even the slightest, just warm and there and Daene squeezed at the hand offered, wishing on anything and everything his new friend understood the words of his heart.  _

 

_ Castiel squeezed back and smiled brightly.  They would see each other again. He leaned in and kissed Daene’s cheek gently before pushing him back towards where he had disappeared with his mother.  He didn’t want his new friend to get in trouble. _

 

Castiel blinked his eyes a few times as they came out of the memory only to laugh a little when Dean practically begged him to show more of it.  Castiel nodded and leaned their foreheads together.

 

_ “Daene!  You’re going to fall!” Castiel laughed, looking up at Daene dangling upside down from their tree.  It was the spot they always met at now, the safest. It was far enough away from both of their families that they didn’t have to worry about their disapproving stares or words.  Castiel hated when his family called Daene disgusting while Daene became angry when anyone would call Castiel a monster...a demon.  _

 

_ “Nah Cas, watch this!” he said, swinging himself up until he could grab ahold with his hands and scoot up to the next branch. “I wanna climb all the way to the top.”  _

 

_ “And make me carry you back to your village again?  Mikael nearly hit me with a rock that time!” Castiel cried, hands on his hips as he stared up at Daene.  His friend loved to push buttons, including his own. But Castiel still loved him enough to stand on the ground and wait for Dean to finish crawling up the tree. _

 

_ “I’m not gonna fall, Cas!” Dean said, just as the branch under his feet snapped.  _

 

_ “Ahhh!” he yelped, grabbing onto anything he could get his hands on. Thankfully it wasn’t a long drop before something snagged around his leg and he was gently lowered onto the ground.  _

 

_ Castiel had his hands up before he thought about it.  The vines of the tree had reacted quickly and thankfully Daene was lowered to the ground safely, “Are you okay?” Castiel asked then started slapping his friend on the arm when Daene nodded, "I told you!" _

 

_ “Eh I’m fine, see...” Daene stood, wincing a bit at the pain in his ankle. “No really I am, it will heal.” _

 

_ Castiel sighed, “You scare me when you do stupid things like that Daene,” he said softly.  He plucked up a flower next to them and crushed it in his hand. Daene’s pants were already ripped along the bottom making it easier for Castiel to lift it up.  There was some bruising around Daene’s ankle and he gently spread the crushed flowers along his skin. _

 

_ “It doesn’t hurt,” he said, pulling at his friend’s hand until he was finished and finally stood up. Daene pulled him into a rough hug and laughed. “You saved me,” he added, pulling away just enough to kiss at Castiel’s cheek.  _

 

_ “My hero,” he teased, though the flush of emotion he felt colored his own cheeks.  _

 

_ Castiel ducked his face and went to give Daene a kiss as well when there was a whisper brushed along his ear, “Someone’s coming,” he hissed, pushing Daene behind him.  Instead of one of his own family members, it was Mikael, Daene’s older brother. _

 

_ “Daene, how many times do we have to tell you to stay away from it!” Mikael demanded.  His mother had given up trying to separate Daene from the demon but Mikael was not going to give up so easily.  Mikael didn’t give him a chance to answer, he snatched at Daene’s arm and yanked him up to his feet. _

 

_ “Owww,” Daene said, pain radiating through both his ankle and the part of his arm where Mikael’s hand was squeezing harshly, “Leave me alone, mom said I could play with Cas!”  _

 

_ He didn’t get much further before Daene finally took his chance and kicked out with his good leg, wrenching in pain as he had to put pressure back on his wounded ankle, but it was enough to put Mikael on the ground.  _

 

_ Castiel didn’t know what to do.  He couldn’t touch Mikael, it would cause so much more trouble for them if he laid a hand on him but he was hurting Daene for no reason!  Castiel was about to reach for his friend when Mikael shot up to his feet and struck Daene across the face with the back of his hand. Castiel surged forward and let out a long, high pitched shriek as he stood between Mikael and Dean, his body tensed up and in a defensive stance.  The glamor protecting his true self that he had only let Daene see slipped away and Mikael stumbled away from him. _

 

_ “Oh Gods...you...you ARE a demon!  Get away from him!” Mikael cried and tried to go for Daene but Castiel slashed at him, letting out that shriek once more. _

 

_ “He isn’t a demon, he’s protecting me from YOU!” Daene answered, “You’re being mean and you hit me and you hurt my arm. He doesn’t like it when I get hurt, that’s all.”  _

 

_ Daene threw himself at Cas and hugged him, “Shh, it’s okay, I’m okay.”  _

 

_ Castiel spoke in his own language, accusing Mikael of being a monster and he’d kill him if he ever touched Daene in anger again.  He wasn’t aware of how he sounded until Dean chuckled softly and Castiel looked at him in confusion. Before Daene could answer someone else was making their way to them and Castiel whined.  He didn’t have the energy to pull his glamor around himself in time. _

 

_ “What in the Gods names is going on?  I could hear that scream all the way in the village-oh...oh Gods...is-is that Castiel?” Meara said, hand pressed against her chest.  The only thing she could recognize of the forest child were his eyes the rest of him...was terrifying.  _

 

_ “Mother, we need to get Daene away from him, it's done something to my brother-” _

 

_ “No!” Castiel shrieked again. _

 

_ “He didn’t do anything, it was Miikael. He hurt my arm and he hit me, Cas was just trying to protect me, he always protects me!” Dean yelled, knowing the look of shock and horror in his mother’s eyes was not going to end well.  _

 

_ “It’s just his other face, he’s still the same Cas…”  _

 

_ “Change back,” he begged in a whisper, hoping his friend, his...his Cas could go back to his more human looking face and his mom would relax.  _

 

_ Castiel closed his eyes and focused.  Now that Daene was out of danger and calmer he was able to relax.  He felt the coolness of his glamor slide over him like a soothing balm. _

 

_ Meara watched in fascination as the darkness of Castiel’s skin melted away to a more human face and she sighed.  The boy had been nothing but kind to Daene, it was wrong of her to judge him just by the way he looked. It wasn’t Castiel’s fault that his kind forced humans to view them a certain way.   _

 

_ She took in a deep breath and turned to her eldest son, “Return home, now.  We will speak of how you struck your brother-” _ __   
  


_ “Mother!” _

 

_ “Silence!” she bellowed, “You will be dealt with, go.” She waited for him to leave before turning to the other boys, “Thank you Castiel.  Daene is right, you’ve done nothing but protect him. I hope you can forgive me,” she said and walked back the way she came. _

 

_ Castiel stared after her before turning to Daene, his hand instantly lifting to touch the red mark on his friend’s face.  The anger returning, “I hate him,” he growled out. _

 

_ “I know,” Daene said, biting his lip a bit before saying anything else. When he did, it came out slow, shaky, and quiet. “I do too.”  _

 

The world seemed to spin just for a moment and then he was there, back in his own life, his own world, with Cas right there in front of me. “God you were adorable when you were young, not that you’re not now too..but I’m glad I was there for it.” 

 

Dean kissed Cas’ lips affectionately and squeezed his hand. “So? Show me how we got together, I bet I made the first move, didn’t I?” 

 

Castiel laughed softly, tracing his fingers along Dean’s face.  His features had taken different forms but this one resembled Daene so much it was startling now that he was noticing it.  The eyes though, those never changed. He leaned in and kissed each of Dean’s eyelids and swallowed hard.

 

“Dean...this memory.  It doesn't end well. For either of us.  I’ll continue if you truly want to see it but-” Castiel blew out a shaky breath as the tears began to fall, “I wouldn’t blame you if you’d like to keep just this part,” he said softly.

 

In his eagerness to see what happened rather than hear it, Dean nearly agreed but he could tell the memory hurt Castiel something awful without having to relive it all over again. So, instead, he just held his hand and said, “Tell me then, tell me and I’ll keep the image of us young and happy and in love in my head as a reminder of the good times.” 

 

Castiel smiled and kissed at Dean’s lips, “You were the first to make a move,” he laughed, nuzzling their noses together before pulling back a bit, “You had taught me so many things as a child.  Empathy, laughter, joy...but love had been the last one. I was clueless that you were flirting with me or trying to woo me. I thought every flower you gave me was because you thought I’d like it because it came from my forest. It wasn’t until you turned sixteen that I got I finally caught on,” Castiel said, closing his eyes and sharing those images with Dean.  How happy Dean had been giving him those small gifts.

 

“There was a war breaking out, between the Fae and humans.  You and I...it didn’t phase us but your father demanded that you fight with him and your brother.  That was the first time you kissed me and I demanded that you come back to me alive so you could show me how to love you properly,” Castiel laughed.

 

“I’m sure I didn’t want to go…” Dean said, unsure if he was trying to convince himself or Cas that it was the truth. 

 

“You didn’t.  You were angry and wanted to run away but both of us were worried of your father’s rage spilling out.  You had to leave and though I hated every second of it, I knew you’d come back. And you did. It took two years but you finally came back to me,” Castiel smiled and shared the small memory of Dean crashing through the woods yelling that he was free.

 

Both of them laughed and Castiel touched at Dean’s cheek again, needing the contact to keep himself calm, “You still wanted to run away and this time I didn’t argue.  We left. Your brother tried to stop you but it was your mother who let us go. We settled somewhere far from your village and deep in the woods. It was beautiful and we were happy,” Castiel swallowed hard and gripped at Dean’s hands.

 

“There are certain types of Fae who can breed, regardless of them being either male or female.  We had no idea I was one of them until I became pregnant,” Castiel said.

 

There was a heavyweight in Dean’s stomach and a hard knot in his throat that felt as if it was cutting off his air. He had a child? No...no he hadn’t. Cas said it wasn’t a happy ending. Forcing a swallow, Dean’s breath hitched and he said, “I don’t think I want to hear any more.” 

 

Castiel nodded and looked down, “I won’t continue that part but my kind found us and that was when they cursed me,” he whispered, “I was mortal then but they made me this.  Immortal and forced to roam this earth waiting for you to be reborn just to watch you pass away.”

 

“Tell me of the good times, the best times….we can go through the other stuff later, but I need you to see that it doesn’t matter how many times I die, how many lives I have to go through, I will always come back to you, always be yours.” 

 

Dean pulled Cas in for a soft kiss and then gently backed away, “I know you’re cursed and I can’t understand what it’s done to you, what it’s felt like...but I know that loving you and forgetting it over and over and over again, isn’t exactly a privilege and maybe this time we can figure out a way to stop it.” 

 

Castiel nodded and kissed him again, resting his forehead against Dean’s, “We’ve had a few happy endings.  Ones where we get married and live our lives until your last breaths. You always joke and try to tell me to start looking for the next version of you so I don’t have to watch but I can never leave your side,” Castiel said softly.

 

“There were also times where I watched from a distance.  You were happy and had a family, that was all that mattered to me.  One in particular...I found you as a child. You were four and you saw me but you weren’t scared of me,” Castiel laughed, shaking his head fondly, “You actually thought I was your imaginary friend.  Your mother died at a young age this time so you were stuck with your father who...I had to protect you from him. He was drunk and never remembered me so he too thought I was some imaginary friend you had made up.”

 

“I watched you grow up to become an amazing man, get married to a beautiful girl who had your children,” Castiel started to cry again even though he was smiling, “You told them about me.  Said that not all boogeymen were monsters and sometimes if you were lucky, they’d protect you from the real ones.”

 

Dean couldn’t help himself, the tears just gathered and he could feel them spilling over onto his cheeks and he didn’t care. “I would have wanted you, I-” he stopped, because it was clear that neither of them would have wished it differently that time. Though he was just as sure that he’d gone through most of that life feeling like a piece of him was missing, just as he’d done this time, only perhaps even worse. If he’d had the chance to know Cas so young, and then lose him so fully, Dean wasn’t sure he’d have been able to cope with that. 

 

“Okay, okay...I’m starting to understand what you’ve been through, and I know what making false promises would do, so I won’t. I can’t promise you that I won’t leave you again, because I might. I could die tomorrow and you’d be back at square one all over again but…” 

 

“Cas, sweetheart. Look at me,” Dean ordered, waiting until those cerulean eyes met his. “I want to fix this, to get you uncursed, to do whatever it is that means that we’ll either die together and happy, or...or you’ll finally be at peace, either way,” he said, swallowing thickly.

 

Castiel smiled fondly and petted the side of Dean’s face, “We’ve tried.  But it wasn’t any ordinary Fae that cursed me but the Queen herself. There’s no changing her mind and no penance I can pay to reverse it.  I've  begged and pleaded, even offered my life to her so she would let your soul be at peace but she only laughed then banned me from the court. Not that I ever liked being there but...it also means I’m banned from my kind entirely,” he said shaking his head.

 

“It’s been so long since I’ve found you last.  I just want to enjoy this, for however long it lasts,” he said.

 

“Okay,” Dean said, though he wasn’t about to let it drop. Sammy was smart, Charlie was a fucking genius with computers, he’d put them into research mode and he’d have his say with the Fae Queen or whoever the hell it was and he’d give Cas a little peace. 

 

“Okay, let’s enjoy it then,” Dean teased with a charismatic smile, a hint of nervousness fluttering in his stomach as he asked to see what he’d been waiting for since the first glimpse of Cas as a small boy. “I’ve shown you my true form, now you show me yours.” 

 

Castiel bit his lip, slowly standing up.  He moved a few feet away from Dean and closed his eyes, allowing for the glamor to slip away.  The strain put on him to keep the shields up never bothered him until he actually paid attention to it.  The let it slide off like water felt just as refreshing and liberating.  Though he did keep his true height to something manageable, the rest he showed freely.  His waist-length black hair shimmered in the sun with hints of deep blues and purples that matched the same undertones of his almost iridescent skin.  

 

“I know I look different then what you saw in that memory,” Castiel said, the hum in his voice present now and suddenly his bees circled around him excitedly.

 

Dean pulled himself to his feet too, slowly drawing nearer to the being that was just _so_ _CAS_ that it was hard to ignore. When he got there, close enough to put his hand against the silky pale cheek, he smiled. “Yes, different....but still beautiful.” 

 

Castiel smiled brightly and cupped Dean’s face, careful to keep his sharp nails from his skin.  There were times where Dean hadn’t taken his true form very well but he was grateful he was now.  He leaned in and kissed him slowly, dragging his tongue along the seam of Dean’s mouth, “You’ve always been beautiful to me.  No matter what form you take,” he said nibbling on Dean’s bottom lip.

 

“Hmm...yeah?” Dean asked, curious as to all the images and shapes he might have taken over the years. “How many times...how many times have I been reborn for you?” 

 

Castiel laughed softly, he’d lost count but he remembered each one fondly.  Even the worst memories still had a place in his heart. He gazed into Dean’s eyes and nuzzled their noses again, “Hundreds of times.  I’m very old and so is your soul,” he said placing his hand on Dean’s heart. Its steady beat made him hum and he leaned in to press a kiss right on top of it.

 

“Tell me about them, the best ones, even the stranger ones, whatever you want.” Dean started to pause and give him space to answer but suddenly questions were burning on his mind. “Ooh was I ever a girl or an animal? That would have been weird…” 

  
  


Castiel snorted, “An animal no but yes, you were a female once or twice.  A dangerous Viking warrior who commanded her own fleet of ships. Your name was Dabria then,” he said with a grin, “You found me that time.  The fleet of men you’d been fighting had caught me in the woods a few days previous and injured me, keeping me trapped in an iron cage.  You recognized me right away then, knew who I was to you from the first glance.  And Gods did you reigned hell on those men.”

 

Dean thought on it a bit more and he grinned, “Did we uh,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. ‘I mean I did rescue you and all…” he teased, though he was genuinely curious if it made much of a difference to Cas what he looked like. 

 

Castiel gave him a lewd grin, “Let me put it this way.  I was ordered, by you, to stay in your cabin and to never leave the bed unless it was to walk along the forests when we made port,” he said.  Biting his lip he touched at Dean’s cheek to share with him one of their more passionate love makings in that cabin of Dabria's ship.

 

“Oh...ooooh, wow… that uh, wow,” Dean said, chuckling to himself. The images could have been straight out of some sort of fantasy porn. He was a little nervous and but also eager to find their passion in this new body, all the new ways they could fit together. 

 

He snorted a bit when she did some sort of move that might have been difficult for a yoga instructor to duplicate, “I can’t do  _ that  _ in this body.” 

 

Castiel laughed brightly, the sounds resembling bells that echoed through the trees and made the bees buzz even louder.  He pulled Dean in close and kissed him deeply, “I’m sure I won’t mind.  Come on,” he said and pulled Dean towards the house. He’d much rather do this here in his little mock version of a forest but Dean deserved a bed.  Before they crossed into his house though he kissed Dean again and sighed, “I love you,” he said softly.

 

“I love you too, Cas...always have, always will.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel went to the windows and opened each one in his bedroom.  It was dark out now, the moon high in the sky and full. It was fitting and Castiel smiled up at it before slowly unbuttoning his shirt and letting it fall to the floor, joining the rest of their clothing.  Dean was leaning back on his bed, the thin sheets drawn over his lower half. He was blissfully naked and Castiel shivered with anticipation of seeing his soul mate bare to him again. 

 

Slowly he pulled the sheet down and groaned low in his throat.  Dean’s cock was perfect, long thick and straight. His throat ached to have him pressing into it but he forced himself to be patient.  He’d savor each second of this. 

 

The last piece of clothing hit the floor and Castiel crawled onto the bed to straddle Dean’s legs, his hands pulling Dean up to share a slow and passionate kiss.  He had tried to shift back to his human self but Dean had insisted, damn near demanding he stay just like this. It did make things easier for him but Castiel had to be mindful of his nails.

 

“I want you so badly,” Castiel groaned against Dean’s mouth.

 

“Mmm, then have me you shall,” Dean said, almost feeling as if he’d said it time and time again throughout his many lives. He couldn’t pinpoint the place it had started but it had started that exact way, countless times. 

 

He kissed roughly at Castiel’s mouth, ignoring the sharp sting of his teeth until he could taste a hint of blood on his lips. It wasn’t that he enjoyed the taste but the hint of danger that came with _ everything _ Cas was made his cock harden quicker than ever before. 

 

“I was made for you,” Dean said, a warm confession from his heart. “Meant to be a curse but right here, right now, you can claim your prize and have it be something good.” 

 

Castiel nuzzled against him and moaned, his arms pulling Dean’s warm body as close he could get him, “Make love to me Dean, please,” he whispered and grinned when he suddenly felt himself being spun around until he was flat on the bed with Dean hovering over him.

 

It never took long for them to get lost in each other, time became nonexistent and the world around them could have easily burned without their notice.  They clung tightly, not wanting to lose this again. Castiel would always have this memory but Dean would once again forget and for the first time Castiel could see just how much it bothered him.  He tried to take it slow, to make it last as long as he could but he never could hold out for long. As Castiel cried out Dean’s name with his release he felt something shift between them, something deep and grounding.  By the bewildered look on Dean’s face, he must have felt it too. 

 

Dean fell heavily on top of him, his body shivering with the aftershocks of his orgasm and Castiel held on tightly, cradling Dean’s body close to his own.  

 

“You,” he said, swallowing and trying in vain for a moment to catch his breath. It took quite a bit longer than he’d hoped but eventually, he’d been able to speak clearly again, without stuttering between every word. “You’re mine again, you’re mine and I’m yours, and we’re going to figure out how to keep this Cas...even if it takes another hundred lives.” 

 

Castiel swallowed hard, his fingers raking through Dean’s hair slowly, “I don’t know if I can take another hundred years,” he whispered, quickly quieting Dean’s retort with a kiss.

 

“Then we better get started,” he said, leaning up as if to get out of bed, then quickly dropping back down, chuckling. “Maybe in the morning.” 

 

Castiel laughed softly, rolling them over so he could hover over Dean.  He looked so beautiful like this, sleepy and sated. He traced at his facial features with the pads of his fingers and hummed before leaning in for another kiss.

 

He smiled when he felt the lips pressed against his but Dean felt as if his limbs weighed a ton each and though the satisfaction was humming inside him, it still meant any movement would ache like a bitch and he wasn’t about to put himself through it without damn good reason. Apparently turning so that he could wrap himself more thoroughly around Cas was reason enough. 

 

“Mmm, that’s better,” he said, strengthening his grip. 

 

Castiel smiled, “Get some rest Dean,” he said and kissed his forehead.  He was exhausted himself and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep being held tightly by his love.

* * *

  
  
  


“Dean...are you sure about this?  Sam is still scared of me,” Castiel said biting on his thumbnail.  They’d been locked up in Castiel’s bedroom for the past day and a half, just consumed with one another when they finally came up for air.  Sam had blown up Dean’s phone with concerned text messages and voicemails but the guy was too freaked out to step foot onto Castiel’s property.  

 

Castiel handed Dean a mug of his honeyed coffee and leaned down on the island on his forearms to watch Dean take a slow sip.  He smiled softly at the appreciative hum and turned to start making a heavy breakfast. Neither of them had been too concerned about food and now they were famished.

 

“I’m not saying hit him with everything at once, but…” Dean hesitated, then shrugged as he cracked an egg into the warm skillet. “Well okay that is what I’m saying. Sam’s a good kid, it might take him a bit to wrap his head around things but once he does, once he understands, then he’s gonna be right there with us, trying to figure out what we can do to fuck this cursed shit up.” 

 

Dean gave an appreciative look over Cas’ body, he absolutely loved the fact that he was still safe enough, comfortable enough with him to be himself, not to mention the way his blood boiled and his cock twitched at the sight of him dressed in his own faded grey AC/DC shirt.

 

Castiel smiled, his eyes closing when he felt Dean staring at him.  He turned his head to smile coyly at him, “You haven’t had enough?” he grinned moving close to kiss at Dean’s lips slowly.  Dean’s hands gripped at his hips and Castiel knew he was about to get lifted onto the counter when Dean’s phone went off yet again.  Castiel sighed and nuzzled at Dean’s temple, “You should just answer it, tell him to come over,” he said.

 

“Never enough,” he said smiling, pressing himself to Cas again before digging out his phone and putting it to his ear. 

 

“Hush Sam, I’m fine, we were busy…yeah, yeah, you can bitch about it when you get here. I’m makin’ breakfast,” he said, before quickly hanging up. 

 

“Now that he’s taken care of…” Dean teased rubbing at the outline of Cas’ cock before his ridiculous boyfriend kissed him and pushed him away. 

 

“Hey, I was havin’ fun there…” 

 

“We don’t have enough time for that love,” Castiel hummed, “After everything is settled we’ll go back to my bed or if you’ll let me, we can go outside,” he said, his eyes flashing at the very idea.  He took in a slow breath and started the process of pulling his shields back up when a hand on his chest stopped him.

 

“I don’t want to scare him,” Castiel said softly.

 

Dean frowned, “Okay, okay… but just for now...he’ll have to get used to it sooner or later and I’d rather it be sooner.” 

 

He kissed Cas again before the blunt sharp teeth disappeared entirely, “I don’t like that you feel you have to hide such a big part of yourself, but I get it.” 

 

“Hopefully he’ll be accepting and I can drop my shields before he leaves,” he said with a little smile, “I think the two of you should talk first...without me here,” he said and looked up a second before there was a steady knock on his front door, “I’ll be outside with my bees.  Just call out for me when you’re ready, I’ll hear you,” he said and kissed Dean’s cheek.

 

“But-” Dean started to argue but Cas left anyway, grumbling to himself he went to answer the door. It was hard to resist the urge to smack his brother upside the head just for being the reason Cas was no longer at his side, but he did...mostly. 

 

He opened the door, “C’mon in Sammy, before the sausage burns.” 

 

Sam stared at his brother for a second before cautiously looking around the house for it-Castiel.  There was no sign of him but it didn’t stop him from being nervous that he’d just appear out of nowhere, “So uh...you’re okay then?” he asked carefully.  They entered the kitchen and once again he was thrown by how bland and impersonal it all was. Like it was just something Castiel had to continue his facade of being human.

 

Dean chuckled, “Oh I’m better than okay,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he flipped the sausage patties in one skillet and stirred the oil over the eggs in the other. 

 

“You actually…” Sam quickly shut his mouth at the glare of death Dean threw at him.

 

“ _ Yes, I actually _ ,” Dean said shaking his head at his brother. “For someone who’s all about acceptance and one love and all that bullshit, you sure get your panties in a wad pretty damn quickly.”

 

“He’s not human Dean!” Sam hissed and then took a quick breath, “Look, I’m sorry I’m having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to this but my entire life I thought maybe there was something else out there but to finally have that proven has really thrown me.  I don’t remember his face but I know he did something to make me forget. How can you be okay with that?” Sam asked.

 

“Let me ask you this Sammy...say it’s a hundred years ago, hell fifty years ago and I was on my own damn property with the love of my life who just so happened to be another dude, and someone came barging in on us,” Dean raised brows a little to insinuate what he knew would happen. “You think if I didn’t have the power to wipe that asshole’s memory, I wouldn’t do it? To save my hide, to save the man I loved?” 

 

“Yeah I guess-”

 

“You’re damn right I would,” Dean said, making a jerking motion to cut his brother off further. “And you know what else Sammy? I get that you’re freaked out, that your mind is making up all kinds of stuff to fill in the blanks and if it would put you at ease I’ll pull Cas in here and he can take down his magic or whatever it is and you can see his true self...but and let me make this perfectly clear, he’s not some kind of circus freak for you to poke and prod at, he’s-he’s more.” 

 

Sam swallowed down his nerves and nodded slowly, “You really love him, don’t you?” he asked.

 

“I’ll explain later but, yeah...I really do,” Dean said, not wanting to let the soulmate bomb slip until he was more sure about where his brother would stand. He hoped with everything inside him that Sam would have his back like he always had, but he wouldn’t risk Cas until he was certain that it was safe for them to be honest about everything.

 

“Cas, come back in sweetheart, show and tell time.” 

 

Sam frowned a bit, looking around for Castiel.  It wasn’t until he heard the back door open and closed he realized that Castiel was outside, “He heard you?” he asked and laughed when Dean gave him a smug smile in return.  He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but to see Castiel turn the corner looking...well, normal it was a bit of disappointment. Then it hit him and he felt like a total jackass.  Of course Castiel kept his human skin on in front of him, Sam had done nothing but treat him like a freak. He felt guilty and held up his hand when Castiel opened his mouth to speak.

 

“I’m sorry.  I freaked out-”

 

“It’s alright Sam.  I don't’ blame you. I didn't exactly handle the situation well either.  I was scared too,” Castiel said softly as he approached the brothers slowly.  Sam was still wary of him but with Dean there Castiel didn’t feel overwhelmed with anxiety like he normally would be.

 

“If you would like, I can take down the block of that memory,” Castiel said gently.

 

“Nah, that’s...not yet,” Dean said, shaking his head. “Sam was scared, you were scared, you both reacted badly. Maybe try something a little more neutral first.” 

 

“Like what?” Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side a bit.

 

“While I think it’s hot when you go into angry and protective mode, Sammy here would probably just piss himself,” Dean chuckled, ignoring the finger his brother raised at him. “Just show him who you are, Cas...he’ll either deal or he won’t.” 

 

Castiel chewed on his lip and nodded.  He kept his eyes on Dean though as he dropped the shields he held tightly around himself.  The look of awe on his lover’s face made him smile but the gasp drew his eyes away to Sam. The younger brother was staring at him but this time there was no fear, just fascination.  Castiel blinked a few times and then smiled.

 

“Woah…” Sam whispered wanting to get closer, to see all the little differences between Castiel the human and Castiel the...whatever he was. He stopped himself though, taking Dean’s advice to heart. It wouldn’t be right of him to just start dissecting Cas, not even in his mind.

 

He tried to keep the nerves out of his throat and finally, he asked, “What...what are you?” 

 

Castiel looked at Dean and he gave him a little nod, “I’m of the Fae,” he said simply.  He blinked a few times and drew in a breath, “In simple terms, I’m a forest fairy,” he said.

 

“I’ve read a little about them, there used to be a lot of lore associated with them but it was all either wood nymphs or demons of the woods. It was clearly exaggerated on both sides but I could never figure out the truth between the lies,” Sam answered, biting at his lip. 

 

“Well he’s more nymph than demon,” Dean smirked, using the double entendre to his advantage. 

 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a dick, Dean.” 

 

“Hey, I’m a delight!” 

 

“Go finish making breakfast...I’ll talk to Cas in the the..living room?” Sam asked, wincing when he remembered the lifelessness of the decor, but at least there was a sofa and a chair.

 

“So...you don’t have wings?” Sam asked, slightly disappointed. 

 

Castiel’s mouth dropped open and looked at Dean again, “I um...I do actually,” he said softly.

 

“Wait, you do?” Dean asked, plating up some of the finished breakfast. “How come I’ve never seen them?” 

 

Castiel wrung his hands together, “Because they’re stuck,” he said and eased off his shirt before slowly turning around.  There on his back was a giant tattooed version of his wings. They went all the way down past his butt to his thighs and across the expanse of his shoulders.  He knew from experience that even though they were practically just pictures on his kin, they still fluttered. It’d been a while since he’d looked at them for himself but he remembered the array of colors.  Orange, yellow, blue and purple. Even a pinch of green along the edges when they caught the light.

 

“Wow.” 

 

Dean ignored his brother and felt something cold and ugly curling in his stomach. “This is because of them, isn’t it...it’s part of the curse?” 

 

Castiel pulled his shirt back and turned back around, “I wish it was,” he said softly and took in a deep breath, “It was because of Inias.”

 

He frowned, it looked like they had more than one problem to tackle, but it didn’t mean he was ready to give up. Though he didn’t want to discuss it in front of Sam, not yet at least. 

 

“We’ll talk about that later…” he offered, going back to breakfast to let his brother and Cas start to get to know one another. Eventually, he tuned the small lull of conversation out until the food was ready. 

 

“Come and get it,” he said, thankful to see that if nothing else at least they weren’t being awkwardly quiet or snippy at one another. 

 

Castiel moved up to Dean and cupped his face, just needing to look into his eyes, ‘You’re not angry with me, are you?” he asked softly, “I didn’t mean to hide them from you.”

 

“No, not angry with  _ you _ , sweetheart,” he answered, the tone in his voice clear that while there was some anger there, he hoped to reassure Cas it wasn’t about him. He just wanted the heads of everyone that had ever hurt his soulmate, on a pike; Starting with the fae queen, then this Inias dude. 

 

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean before grabbing some food for himself.  He practically drowned his food in honey and eased himself down at the table, “Do you have any more questions for me Sam?” Castiel asked after taking a few bites of his food. It was delicious and if he wasn’t careful, he’d be in a sugar induced coma.

 

“Yeah probably, but for now we could stick to the basic stuff, like what you could possibly see in my brother,” he said, his tone light and teasing. Dean’s hand still came to smack across the back of his head but it barely even made contact, so he didn't stop. “What? I’m just saying,  _ all  _ of humanity to choose from, and he’s picked you…”

 

Castiel laughed softly, “He was the first human-” Castiel stopped short, suddenly realizing they hadn’t talked about that yet.  He shared a look with Dean and quickly changed what he was going to say, “that I felt safe around. I can’t explain it but it’s true,” he said.

 

Sam ignored the small bit of awkwardness, “Yeah, he has a way of doin’ that.” 

 

Dean didn’t respond to Sam’s comment but he made sure to look down at his plate so the heat on his cheeks didn’t show. It wasn’t often Sam praised him but when he did, the guy really knew how to make it count. 

 

“Did I tell you about the time he got his head stuck between the banisters when he was little?” Sam asked, catching the piece of toast Dean threw at his head.

  
  


* * *

 

Dean traced a finger along the design, it drew a shudder out of Cas but no complaint came so he didn’t feel the need to stop. The pattern beneath his touch was gorgeous in an ethereal type of way, a distinctly  _ other _ way. It was clearly not a tattoo though it did give off the impression of one and his mouth went dry thinking of what could have possibly trapped them. 

 

“You don’t have to, I can tell it’s painful for you but I’d really like to know what happened to them, they shouldn’t be...they shouldn’t be stuck like this, even if they are ridiculously beautiful this way,” he said, whispering softly against the skin there. 

 

A flutter of something met his lips and Dean closed his eyes to greet it. 

 

Castiel practically melted under Dean’s affections.  The question barely phased him at that point. He licked his dry lips and slowly rolled onto his stomach so Dean could continue to touch at his wings but look at him as he spoke.

 

“When I first met him, I thought he was human.  He hid his true self so well and completely that I didn’t know what he was until it was much too late,” Castiel said softly, closing his eyes as Dean’s fingers touched a particularly sensitive spot on his back.

 

“I should have known better.  In every life, your name always resembled its original form in some way or another.  Daene, Dillion, Dion, Dabria...all starting with a D,” he said and swallowed hard, his fingers gripping at the comforter.  My kind knows of me, about why I was cursed but not many know of  _ you  _ in detail .  All they cared about was that you were a human.  Inias somehow did. Even knew your original name.”

 

Castiel scooted closer, needing Dean’s warmth against his cooling skin.  His fingers never stopped tracing his wings though and Castiel appreciated that more than any words could convey.

 

“He used that against me.  Made me believe he was you.  I was skeptical of course. I was always the one who found you, the only exception was when you were Dabria.  But it was like he was seeking me out. But he knew things that quickly got me under his spell,” Castiel said, closing his eyes, needing to stop for a moment.

 

Somehow the previous anger rising up inside him was nothing compared to the heat in his belly when he heard that not only had this man hurt Cas, but he’d used Dean and their connection to do it. He forced it down, let it fuel him for now but he wanted to take care of Cas, needed to care for him first, the rest could be worked out later.

 

Dean had started to fantasize about how the man’s throat might feel between his hands and a hard surface, what it might look like to watch the life drain from him, close up. He’d never been a violent guy, at least not in this life, but he wanted the asshole to pay and if he could be the one responsible, that would make it even better. 

 

“Dean,” Castiel whispered, waiting for those green eyes to focus back on him and he gave him a small smile as he touched at his lover’s cheek.  They stared at each other for a moment before Dean nodded for him to continue.

 

“We were together for at least a year before he turned on me.  Though I was mortal at the time before the curse, we can choose whether we want to stay within our kind and live for hundreds of years or stay in the human realm and age.  I had been ready to make that choice to be with you and stay in the human realm. There isn’t many of us who could carry a child though so when I was forced to become immortal, I was no longer able to have a child.  Inias, among many others who I found out through him, was furious about losing another breeder. That not only I chose you, a human,  over them but they lost someone they could try and impregnate,” Castiel sighed heavily.

 

“He tortured me for months.  Shackled me with iron, cut into my wings with an iron dagger until they became nothing but these tattoos on my back,” Castiel said, his voice wavering.  A whine ripped out of his throat when Dean touched him a bit firmer. The dull ache and phantom fluttering increased as if they had a mind of their and truly wanted to be petted.

 

“I-I don't know how I finally managed to escape but I did.  I ran away and hid under my human skin for so long I nearly forgot what I looked like underneath.  A-And I lied to you before, it’s been more than ten years since I’ve seen him.”

 

“No more hiding now, not unless you absolutely have to...not with me,” Dean whispered, a quiet, sacred promise. He loved the look of Cas in his human skin just as much as he loved his true form, but he didn’t want the man to have to cover himself in a way that both hurt him and made him feel vulnerable. 

 

“I know,” Castiel whispered gently touching at Dean’s cheek, “And I know it’s really you this time.  There’s no mistaking this.” Castiel closed the rest of the distance between them and ducked his head under Dean’s chin to rest his ear right over his heart.

 

“I want you to know,” Dean said, calmly...or at least as calmly as he could. “I’m going to make this right, all of it. I don’t know when or how but I’m going to, we’re going to fix this.” 

 

He kissed at the soft skin of Cas’ back, feeling the flutter on his nose and lips again, it tickled a bit but he didn’t mind, didn’t lighten it with laughter, just enjoyed the soft sensation. When he moved away his voice was soft but full of rage. “We’re going to get your wings back, and we’re going to get you some goddamn peace, even if I have to kill every other fucking fairy on this godforsaken planet.” 

 

Castiel nodded, his arms clinging around Dean’s torso, “I love you so much,” Castiel whispered, his throat tight as tears dripped down his cheeks.  The others had only wished they could do something for him but this Dean...he wanted to fight for him. To actually do something about it. For the first time in his very long life, someone wanted to protect  _ him _ .  It stole his breath away.

 

“I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you either, but I’m not going to give up...so even if you have to catch me up to speed on every damn life, I’m not going to stop until we figure out a way to save you, Cas. Whatever that means.” 

 

Dean didn’t want to see the love of his life, of all his lives die, didn’t want to feel that pain and anguish of losing his soulmate, but if that was the only way for Cas to rest, to find peace, well that was the last resort, but maybe this time they could go together.

 

Castiel nodded, “Let’s get some rest, I can start to tell you everything once we’ve slept a little,” he said tilting his head up for a kiss.

 

Dean gladly gave and pulled his lover tightly into his arms, the tingling still fluttered under his fingertips as Cas’ head lay peacefully on his chest. Dean made a quiet, unspoken vow that night. When the morning came, things would be different. He would do whatever it took to make sure that they were. 


	7. Chapter 7

When the morning came Castiel eased out of the bed feeling more relaxed and rested than he had in many, many years.  He gazed down at Dean with a smile and kissed him softly. His lover was still out cold and Castiel had an ache to be outside.  Crawling out of bed he grabbed at Dean’s button up and slipped it on, humming at the way it carried Dean’s scent.

 

The air was warm and slightly muggy but it never bothered Castiel.  Being indoors and around too much metal was what truly made his skin crawl.  His bees buzzed happily at him when he approached, checking each of their hives.  He’d collect the honey later that day but for now, he was content in sitting on one of the log chairs he’d made himself and meditated to the wonderful noises of the morning.

 

Blinking a few times, Dean realized the warmth against him was gone and he frowned down at the empty place his lover left behind. He grumbled a bit, but slid his jeans back over his hips and made his way outside. He didn’t even have to stop and look in any other parts of the house, Dean knew Cas well enough to know where he was without question.

 

Castiel was mesmerized at the bees and butterflies flitting around his head and landing on his fingertips that he didn’t realize someone had stepped onto his land until there was a crunch from behind him.  He froze and instantly shot up to his feet. Out of all of his people, the one standing before him threw him the most.

 

“What...what are you doing here?” Castiel hissed.  The fae guard looked around him and then chuckled, his gold eyes glittering in the sunlight.

 

“Is that how you greet an old friend Castiel?” he asked.  Castiel frowned.

 

“We were never friends.  It was your own brother who…” Castiel swallowed hard as his hand touched at his stomach on instinct, a phantom ache where the Iron blade had left a scar.  The guard’s face twisted and shook his head.

 

“I never agreed to how you were punished or what Xion did to you Castiel,” he said.

 

“Liar,” Castiel gritted out, “And what is it you want, Gabriel?” 

 

Gabriel stared at him, “She wants to see you-” 

 

“Oh, I don’t think so, douchebag,” Dean said, he didn’t have a gun at Cas’ house but he’d managed to pull a knife from the kitchen when he saw the stranger lurking out back. It might not be much protection against whatever the fuck this guy was but Dean would sooner die than let anyone take Cas anywhere he didn’t want to go. 

 

Castiel gasped and quickly moved in front of Dean, trying to keep him from Gabriel’s view but it was no use, “Dean,” he whispered against his ear.

 

“Ah...so this is  _ him _ then, isn’t it?” Gabriel smirked stepping closer.  The knife in the human’s hand would do nothing to him, not even a scar.  Before he could get too close though Castiel put himself between them and that made Gabriel smirk wider.

 

“I’m not going to hurt him.”

 

“I don’t believe you,” Castiel spat out.

 

“Look buddy, I don’t know who you are but I’m telling you right now, Cas ain’t goin’  _ anywhere _ with you.” Dean held tightly at Castiel’s waist. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that whatever this being in front of them was, it was a shit ton more powerful than he was, but by god, if Cas was going to be taken somewhere, he was riding shotgun.

 

“He doesn’t have a choice I’m afraid.  She’s requesting you to come home, now,” Gabriel said, his head tilting to the side a bit, “She also said he can come as well.  She wants to meet him.”

 

Castiel was already shaking his head, his fingers gripping too tightly at Dean, “No.  I will not let you have the chance of trapping him there. Haven’t you all done enough?  Please just...just leave us alone,” Castiel begged even though he knew it was no use. They sent Gabriel because he was the nicer one.  If Castiel didn’t do as the queen demanded, she would send the others. Including Xion who was the worst. 

 

“Hey, you’re not going anywhere without me...wherever it is, whatever happens...we’re in this together,” Dean said softly, whispering the words against Cas’ ear, not that it made a difference. He was sure the little asshat heard him all the same, but he wouldn’t be shamed for showing his love and affection for the one that made him feel so damn much of it. 

 

“Do not worry yourselves, the Queen has placed him under her protection,” Gabriel said.

 

Castiel frowned, “Why?  Why now? After all this time, after  _ everything _ , she protects him now!” he said moving away from Dean as his fury seared through him.  He’d never been violent, didn’t know he could be. It wasn’t who he was, but right then he felt so much anger he wasn’t aware he was moving until his nails were in Gabriel’s throat and had him pushed up against a tree.  The tree's branches curling inward to slowly wrap around the guard's limbs.

 

“Castiel...stop,” Gabriel grunted, his arms struggling against the wood biting at his skint but Castiel squeezed his nails tighter around his throat until his breath became ragged.

 

Dean nearly pushed himself forward to stop him but the sight of Cas being so damn...protective was hot as fuck. It took him a minute to collect himself before he finally broke through the haze of lust and plastered himself to Cas’ back. “Hey sweetheart, I’m okay, it’s okay...I mean if you wanna kill this guy I won’t stop you but I’m pretty sure it’s only going to piss them off, right?” 

 

Castiel trembled, Dean’s voice bringing him back to himself as he let Gabriel go roughly.  The fae guard coughed and then laughed.

 

“Wow Cassie, never thought I’d see the day,” Gabriel teased.  Castiel wanted to lunge at him again but Dean’s soft hands were touching him, grounding him.  He turned to look into Dean’s eyes and calmed down.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning in to nuzzle their foreheads together for a moment before turning back to Gabriel, “When?”

 

“The sooner the better.  You know how she doesn’t like to wait,” Gabriel said.  Castiel frowned but finally nodded.

 

“I’ll wait-”

 

“I know how to find the way Gabriel,” Castiel snapped.  Gabriel shook his head with a laugh.

 

“That may be so but I’m still to escort you.  You pissed a lot of them off Castiel, you’re not going to have a warm welcome,” he said.  Castiel huffed out a breath and took Dean’s hand to lead him back home. Once the door was closed the panic resurfaced and he began to pace the kitchen.

 

“Hey, look...I know I don’t understand anything about your people really, or about how these things work, but if they’re coming for you, they’re gonna get me too...and if we’re working together, there might be a way to fix all this…” Dean said, looking at Cas with a little spark of hope that had ignited in his chest. “C’mon, let’s go get ready before you get yourself even more worked up.” 

 

“Dean I-” Castiel shook his head and then wrapped himself around Dean, fear ripping right through him.  She was the reason why Dean’s soul was reborn so many times, what if she ended it now? As much as he hated having to go through this over and over again he couldn’t be without Dean.  Just the thought of never seeing him again ripped a sob right out of him.

 

“Hey, it’s okay...whatever happens, we’ll walk out of it together,” Dean promised, not that unlike the silent oath he’d made the night before. “I’m here, you’re here, and there’s nothing we can’t do when we put our minds together.”

 

He pulled his lover close and kissed at his lips, “C’mon, let’s go get dressed so we can kick ‘em in the ass.” 

 

Castiel nodded but didn’t move for another few minutes.  Dean indulged his need to cling to him but finally, Castiel pulled it together and made his way into his bedroom.  He had no clothes in this realm that could even remotely be approved by the queen, especially since they were all much too modern, human.  Groaning to himself he looked over at Dean and then snapped his fingers, “I kept these...just in case,” he muttered and reached down under the bed.  It was a wood box he kept hidden filled with things he would need in case he was ever attacked or Inias came looking for him again. Or even worse, the Queen.  He opened it up and sighed. There was an iron dagger on top that he had to carefully pick up by the sheath and tossed on the bed. Underneath was the one gown he’d taken with him from his realm.  

 

“I’m not sure you’ll find anything in my closet but if you have anything dark that will do.  Stick with dark reds if you can,” he said quietly.

 

“I probably have something at the house...would that be better?” Dean asked, though the thought of leaving Cas felt like acid in his stomach, he didn’t want to piss off the wrong person. Then he remembered the outfit Charlie had made him buy for opening day at the Bakery and he knew it would be perfect, or as perfect as he was going to get at least. 

 

“I- just give me a couple minutes…” he said, frowning again before he turned toward the window and called out to whoever it was waiting outside. “And so help me god if he’s not here when I get back I will burn the woods-,  _ every woods _ , down looking for him. Got it douchebag!?” 

 

“Tell me it’s okay for me to go or I’ll wear my fuckin’ zep shirt and call it a day,” Dean said, chewing at his lip as he pulled Cas into his arms once again. 

 

Castiel laughed softly and nodded, “I won’t go anywhere without you, I promise,” he said and kissed Dean softly.  Though when they tried to pull away neither of them could and the chaste kissed turned into one of desperation. Castiel tore himself away from Dean’s mouth and gasped, “You better go, they’re only going to wait for so long.”

 

Dean huffed but did as he was told and headed toward the door, only looking back for a moment before tearing through it and jogging down the block to his own place. 


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel pulled on the dark green gown made of soft muslin and tulle.  It cascaded down to his feet. The darkness contrasted with his pale skin beautifully and he placed the nearly see-through top up over his chest.  They were Unseelie, the Dark. Showing their features was never frowned upon if anything it was encouraged. It was practically an insult to cover up.  He had to warn Dean before they stepped out. People of his kind commented on each other's beauty like a greeting.

 

They also liked to touch.  A lot. Castiel brushed his nails through his long hair, pulling it out and in front of him.  He remained barefoot and paced his bedroom waiting for Dean to return to him. He could feel Gabriel’s impatience growing which meant  _ she _ was growing impatient.  Swallowing hard he took in a deep breath.  There were so many things Castiel hadn’t been able to tell Dean, most of which pertained to his actual family.  

 

As he waited he began to add little braids to his hair, his palm opening to conjure small flowers that he stuck through the knots.  By the time Dean arrived, he looked more true to his nature than ever before.

 

“Cas?” Dean called out, taking the stairs two at a time.

 

When he finally made it to the door of Cas’ bedroom his breath hitched in his throat. 

 

“Woah,” he said, half falling on his ass at how goddamn beautiful Cas looked. He’d put on the best thing in his closet and still felt completely unworthy. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and Dean had to fight back the urge to groan and just ravage him right there. It wasn’t a good idea, he’d felt something growing in the air even from his own house and it wasn’t comforting. 

 

Castiel smiled at him and took in the rich red, almost purple of his suit.  It was something she would definitely approve of, especially since it made Dean’s eyes stand out.  Castiel slowly walked to him and cupped his face, ‘You’re beautiful,” he said and kissed Dean slowly.

 

“Nothin’ compared to you sweetheart, especially not lookin’ like that…” Dean swallowed hard but pasted on a smile because Cas was nervous enough for them both. 

 

Fighting back his own anxiousness, he looked into those beautiful blue eyes. “Onward we go?” 

 

“Dean, there’s a few things I must tell you before we go back to Gabriel.  My kind, they like to comment. It would be insulting if they didn’t. Since you’re human, you must not.  You can with me cause we’re lovers but no one else. And you must not get jealous if Gabriel or anyone else say anything about the way I look.  It could be looked at as a challenge,” he said quickly, “And...they might touch me. A lot. Never in a sexual way but still, it’s the reason why I’m so clingy with you, we thrive on it,” Castiel explained quickly.

 

It wasn’t easy to process, but whatever kept them safe, whatever made Cas happy, Dean would stow his shit and let it happen. He held his hand out and waited for Cas to join their fingers. “As long as I can keep this, I’ll be okay.” 

 

Castiel nodded and gently pulled him down the stairs back to where Gabriel was still standing outside.  Gabriel’s mouth dropped and he gazed at Castiel with open appreciation.

 

“My my, Castiel.  You look ravishing,” he said with a little smile.  Castiel thanked him and was about to enter his little forest when Gabriel touched him on the arm.

 

“Castiel,” he said and held out his hand.  Castiel didn’t want to look at what he had brought with him but he heard Dean gasp from behind him.

 

“Oh...you didn’t tell him, did you?” Gabriel laughed stepping a bit closer and stared down at Dean with a tilt of his head, “Castiel isn’t just some random _forest_ fairy.  If he was, he wouldn’t have had such a harsh punishment. He’s the crowned prince, The Queen of the Unseelie’s only son,” Gabriel said. 

 

_ Fuck. _

 

His previous thoughts of just how unworthy he was of someone like Cas managed to triple in just one short moment. Dean hesitated but Castiel’s grip on his hand tightened. “Cas...they’re...fuck, they’re not going to be okay with this are they? I’m a fucking  _ baker _ for Christs sake. I barely graduated highschool-”

 

“Dean stop, please,” Castiel said softly, casting a glare over at Gabriel, “They don’t care what you do, they only care about what you are and what you mean to me.  It never once mattered to me what you’ve done, only that you loved me,” he said and kissed Dean, hoping to soothe his panic. They were on a time limit but he didn’t care, he needed Dean to see past this stupid title that he was born with.  He cupped Dean’s face and soared through his memories, showing Dean so many different jobs and titles he carried himself. Even once being homeless but neither cared because they had each other.

 

After the rush of images, of emotions, Dean felt heavy on his feet but he stood taller and nodded. If Cas was willing to walk through this with him, then he wouldn’t be the one to complain. “Okay, Okay…” he said, swallowing hard. “Let’s go.” 

 

“No matter what they say or try to sway you with,  _ I _ love you.  I have ever since that moment we were children.  Do not forget that, please,” Castiel begged, realizing that he too needed the reassurance.

 

“Okay, I’ll remember, and I love you too, Cas. Always.” 

 

Dean held his breath as the forest seemed to change around them. There came a slight rustling of leaves and then the ground trembled under his feet. He held tight to the clawed fingers in his hand unwilling to let up even a little for fear that something would snatch it away. 

 

Castiel swallowed hard as the portal to their realm opened and Castiel gripped Dean’s hand tight as they passed through it. Where his tiny little forest had given him some comfort, the Unseelie court was something else entirely.  They were surrounded by thick lush trees and the ground was covered in small stones and moss. Everything felt so alive and Castiel shivered at being here for the first time in hundreds of years.

 

“Castiel, I must insist,” Gabriel said, holding out the dark crown once again.  It was made from one of the dead trees from the grove and in the center was a simple purple stone.  He took it with his free hand, not wanting to let go of Dean for one second and placed it on his head.  It looked heavy but was actually feather light.

 

“Perfect.  This way my prince,” Gabriel teased and if Castiel were anywhere else he’d hit him.  They followed the path slowly, curious eyes following them and soon they had a group of his people behind them.  Castiel kept his grip on Dean’s hand, careful to keep him at his side and not behind him. He wanted all of them to see Dean as his equal and not some plaything they probably thought of him.  There were hushed whispers, of course, heard his name being called out once or twice. Most of which were in anger. 

 

Castiel kept his head up though.  Ignoring them the best he could but once he saw the throne he started to tremble.  The question of why kept playing on repeat in his head. Why after all this time was she calling him back now?

 

He nearly staggered, only Dean’s arm around him kept him falling.  Not only were the guards who had destroyed his life standing next to the dais, but so was Inias.  But he didn’t look as smug as he last saw him. Even Gabriel faltered, his head snapping to Castiel and then back at the other Fae.

 

“That’s Inias,” Castiel hissed.

 

It took everything inside Dean not to just go over there and put a fist in the guy’s face but he didn’t want to cause any more trouble for Cas than he probably already was, just being himself. He’d find a way though, after they figured out what the hell was going on in this place and why he was here, Dean would find a goddamn way. 

 

He squeezed reassuringly at Cas’ hand and breathed a bit deeper as an effort to comfort him without words, it’s not like he could say anything in private with all these douchebags listening in. 

 

The air around them became thick and within one second to the next, Queen Amara appeared before them.  She was just as beautiful and dangerous as the last time he saw her. He immediately dropped to his knees, yanking Dean down with him.

 

“Stay down,” he whispered.  His breathing became harsh as she stepped closer, the swish of her dress almost as loud as his heartbeat.  A pale hand extended in front of his face and he jerked back from it, raising his eyes to stare up at her.

 

“Hello my son,” she said, “Welcome home.”

 

Castiel hesitantly took her hand but was quickly in a predicament.  If he let go of Dean the fear of another Fae whisking him away surged through him but if he didn’t go with Amara, she could lash out in one of her infamous tantrums.  

 

She surprised him yet again when she smiled...actually smiled and made a gesture for Dean to stand as well.  Once Dean was at his side once more Amara turned and sat down on her throne. 

 

“What is your name this time?” Amara asked looking at him.

 

“Dean Winchester, your highness,” he said, barely able to breathe. He wasn’t even sure that was the right title but it was as good as he was going to have off the top of his head. 

 

Amara smiled at him and Castiel wasn’t sure how to feel about that.  She smiled when she was happy and she also smiled when she tortured or executed other Fae.  It was incredibly conflicting.

 

“I heard you...the both of you,” she said softly her hand lifting as her giant crow companion flew down from a branch and settled on the arm of her throne, “There are times I’ll lose sight of Castiel but we finally found you.  We watched and the story you spoke of, “Amara said, her dark eyes settling on Castiel, “Was that true?”

 

“Of course, when have I ever lied?” Castiel asked.  Amara stared at him and her eyes changed. They went from her usual dark brown to entirely black.  Castiel held his breath and there was a sudden blur of movement. Inias was on the ground, spitting up blood.  Amara stood slightly above him, glancing at her long nails.

 

“You have never lied my son.  Not once, especially not to me,” she said and stepped off the dias to circle around Inias, “What gives you the right to touch my son?  To think you can dole out a punishment for something that I have already dealt with?” she hummed, pressing her foot on the back of his neck.  She seemed lost in thought for a moment and then removed it, going back to her seat to pet at her crow.

 

“There was something else I heard, something I have been waiting for,” she said and looked at Dean, “There is something different about you this time.  In all these lives that you have lived, never  _ once  _ had you swore to try and break this...curse.  Why?” she asked.

 

Dean licked his lips, nervous flutters in his stomach. “I can’t speak for why I haven’t done it before ma’am-uh, your highness,” he said, stuttering over his words a bit but he finally continued. “It’s just that maybe this...this time I know what it’s like to feel cursed. I don’t want to lose him but if it means he’s free, he’s at peace, then I’ll do whatever it takes to get him that.” 

 

Amara stood up again, stepped over Inias and stopped right in front of Dean.  She trailed her long nails down his face and gripped his chin, “Would you be willing to kill someone for his freedom?” she asked.

 

“No offense, your highness, but I’d take out every last person in this room if it meant Cas could be free,” he said, causing an audible gasp from the audience, but he didn’t care. There was a roar throughout the room when Dean added a quiet, “Including myself.” 

 

Amara released his chin, her eyes never once leaving his face as she nodded.  There was a shout and soon her mate, her consort Cain appeared and threw another fae to the ground next to Inias.

 

“It seems that my son, who I so harshly punished for loving you, is the only one who tells me the truth.  Inias will be punished for his crimes but the other, Xion failed to mention one detail to me when he brought news that you had been dealt with,” Amara said looking at Castiel now.  Castiel swallowed hard and glanced at the tall, dark-haired fae on the ground who looked terrified.

 

“He never told me you were pregnant,” Amara said flatly, her eyes glancing down at the fallen guard.  Xion stupidly looked up at her and Cain snarled at him.

 

“You...you didn’t?” Castiel asked in a hushed whisper.  all this time he thought his mother had been the one to call out the order to not only murder Dean, but his unborn child.  The memory of laying there, bleeding on the ground as Xion taunted him was so vivid that he wasn't aware that he was sharing it with his mother.   Amara looked up at him and a flicker of sadness washed over her normally cold features as she straightened up and shook her head as if to rid the horrible images from her mind.

 

“No.  I would have still punished you but I would have never, killed your child Castiel.  It would have been half fae,” she said holding out her hand. A dagger was pressed into her hand and she suddenly faced Dean, holding it out to him.

 

“I will give you a choice.  To kill the one who tortured your love or the one who murdered your child and ultimately, the original  _ you _ .  Either way, Castiel goes free and it’ll be his choice whether he remains by your side or comes home.”

 

“Wait,” Castiel shot out before Dean could answer.  She glared at him and Castiel had to swallow the sudden spike in his heart but pushed himself to say, “If I stay with him, I won’t be immortal anymore?”

 

“No.  You will still have your magick but you will eventually die.  Or...if you wish to stay alive you  _ will _ return home and stay.”

 

Dean hesitated for a moment, he’d never intentionally hurt anyone past a black eye or maybe a broken rib but right then, he wanted revenge so badly he could taste it. He pulled Cas’ hand to his lips and kissed it before dropping it to his side. 

 

He grabbed ahold of the short hairs on Inias’ head and forced him to stand. “Stay,” he said, his voice echoing throughout the court just as the Queen’s had. He did the same with Xion and stood them side by side. He turned to Amara, feigning a slight disappointment. 

 

“Only one, your highness?” he asked, and she nodded. Dean noticed a slight uptick at the side of her mouth but he didn’t mention it. “And what will happen to the other one?”

 

“Depending on which one you choose, they will be punished accordingly.  My Cain has a gift for it,” she said looking back at her consort. 

 

That idea appealed to him greatly, he’d never wished for the suffering of anyone until he was face to face with the two beings that had caused his love, his soulmate, so much pain. He didn’t care that he’d been murdered, not really, and while the thought of him nearly having the family he’d wanted so much and having that snatched away, left an ashy taste in his mouth. It was also hard to mourn a child he didn’t remember. 

 

What he did remember was the look on Castiel’s face when he spoke of Inias and the torture he’d enacted. 

 

“Does it have to be now, or can I get in on that murder torture show you were talking about?” Dean asked, knowing he was pushing his boundaries a bit. He talked to her as if she were any woman and not the queen of the freakin’ fairies, but if he had the opportunity to make them both bleed, he’d take it. 

 

There was a beat of silence before Amara laughed loudly, “Oh, I like you.  Maybe-” She gasped and jerked back when the human dragged the iron dagger straight down one of Inias’s golden brown wings.

 

Castiel’s mouth dropped open and he couldn’t help it, the tears began to fall and he tried to cover the sob before his mother heard him.

 

Some of the guards took a step forward but Amara stopped them.  Her own wings were twitching nervously as she moved to stand next to Dean.

 

He could see the question in her eyes, but he didn’t answer, instead he pushed the tip of the blade into the bottom of Inias’ spine and said, “Tell her, Tell her what you did.” 

 

“Get away from me you disgusting-”

 

Amara grabbed him by the chin and dug her nails into his skin, “Tell me what, Inias,” she demanded.  He glanced around her to Castiel and she let go as if he were burning her. It suddenly dawned on her that Castiel’s wings were hidden away.  They were beautiful and to be kept away was almost sinful. She approached her son slowly, “Show me Castiel. Show me your wings,” she asked, almost begging. 

 

Castiel shook his head and Amara’s rage seethed through her.  As gently as she could muster, she turned him and swept away his hair.  The scream that tore out of her throat was loud and guttural, “Choose now human or I will choose for you and I will start with him!” she screeched.

 

Dean grinned widely at the being in front of him, making sure Inias met his eyes with a jerk of his head. “I’m going to let her take care of you, somethin’ tells me its gonna hurt a lot more than this,” he said holding the knife up before pushing Inias to the ground a few feet in front of him to put him on his knees for the Queen. 

 

“All yours, your majesty.” 

 

Amara only reacted.  Yes, she was angry with her son for loving a human and running away with him without her consent.  But she still loved him and to see his wings, stuck inside of him like they were ugly made her sick.  Her nails grew in length and she tore at Inias’s wings, shredding them past repair. His screams filled the air around them and she backed up only when Cain’s hand touched her shoulder.

 

“Take him, I’m not yet finished,” Amara demanded and watched as Cain dragged Inias who’d become hysterical out of the ring.

 

“That’s for Cas, you douchebag!” Dean called out after the man, beast thing effortlessly pulling the wiggling body out of the room. 

 

When he turned back to the room with a grin all eyes were on him and his smile faltered a bit. He’d forgotten, probably for a moment too long, just where he was, but Dean had to admit there was a bone-deep satisfaction that came with watching the Queen rip Inias’ wings to shreds. 

 

Dean tried to bow a little but quickly made his way back over to Cas, not knowing what else to do. He pulled his love into his arms and held him tightly against his chest. “It’s over, he won’t hurt you anymore.” 

 

Castiel clung onto Dean, crying softly against his neck when he felt his mother approach.  He looked at her cautiously as she watched them. The black of her eyes seemed to melt until the dark brown was present again and her nose scrunched up.

 

“You gave up your chance to kill him,” she said plainly.  It wasn’t a question so thankfully Dean remained quiet. She nodded her head once and gestured for Xion to be taken away as well.  

 

“You both are free.  Dean is no longer tethered to this world and will not be reborn unless fate decides he should be,” she said softly and touched Castiel’s cheek.  He gasped and felt a warmth pulse through her hand that settled all over his skin.

 

“I wish you would stay Castiel, take your rightful place at my side but I know your heart and what you will choose,” she said sadly.

 

“I can’t, I’m sorry mother,” he said.  Amara nodded and leaned in to brush her lips over his forehead.  Castiel turned to get them out as quickly as he could when she stopped them yet again.

 

“Please, let me try,” she said and held up her hand.  Castiel swallowed hard and came to her. She pressed her palms flat on his back and nothing seemed to happen when he crumpled to the floor with a scream.

 

Dean rushed forward, falling to his knees beside Cas. He wasn’t quite sure what she’d done but his love seemed to be in pain and Dean was on edge, ready to burn the damn place to the ground if need be. 

 

It wasn’t until he was closer that he saw the shimmering fluttering wings on Cas’ back. He gasped at how beautiful they were, his fingers itching to touch but he wasn’t sure he was allowed. “Cas…I-woah.” 

 

Castiel shook as the pain radiated through him.  He swallowed hard and looked up from the ground. Everyone was staring in awe and Dean was reaching out for something.  Then he felt it. The unmistakable flutter of something butter soft touching his skin. He gasped and looked around him.  He had almost forgotten just how huge they were and cried happily as he pulled them around himself.

 

“Magnificent,” Amara sighed.  Other words of beauty were thrown at him but Castiel couldn’t hear them.  He was too distracted by having his wings back but he did hear Dean.

 

“Thank you mother,” Castiel gasped.  She smiled down at him and nodded before turning back to her throne.  Castiel took Dean’s hand and got up to his feet. They’d explore his wings later, for now, Castiel needed to get them out of there.  Thankfully Gabriel moved up to them, escorting them carefully back to the portal.

 

“Tell the Queen if she wants any company, I’m still down for that murder torture sho-” Dean started but Gabriel rolled his eyes and the next thing he knew they were back in the woods behind Cas’ house.

 

“Aww man, something tells me I’m not going to have the front row seat I was hoping for,” he said, laughing a bit at the sheer impossibility of everything that had just happened, but it didn’t last long. He pulled Cas in against him and kissed him until they were both panting and gasping. 

 

Castiel was full on sobbing by the time they stopped and he trembling almost violently.  It was over. All because this wonderful man loved him so much he was willing to sacrifice himself.  Castiel couldn’t tell him enough how much he adored him, there were no words to describe it all. 

 

“Thank you,” he said cupping Dean’s face and staring into his eyes.

 

Dean shrugged it off, “Your mom’s the one who let you go, I mean don’t get me wrong I’m grateful I didn’t have to try to kill all those sonsabitches, but I didn’t do anything…” 

 

“You’re wrong,” Castiel said, “You chose to be selfless.  You could have been content with being with me this life and be reborn again.  Instead, you chose to give that up so I can have a chance to go with you this time,” he said swallowing hard.

 

Dean hid his blush by pulling Cas in against his chest, cradling his head with the back of his hand while he dealt with the weird flutterings in his stomach and the redness on his face. “Well, you deserve your freedom, it shouldn’t have had anything to do with me....but I’m sorry it took so long Cas.” 

 

Castiel smiled and pulled his wings around so he could hug Dean with them, “And because of you, my mother gave me back my wings.  I would have never brought it up, but you did,” he said reaching out and gently touching at them. He’d missed them so much and to see that look of awe on Dean’s face made it even better.  He pulled Dean in for a deep kiss as his nails carded through Dean’s hair, “Dean,” he whispered and smiled when his lover pouted that they’d stopped kissing.

 

“Now that I’m mortal again, if it was something you wanted, we could try again,” he said softly.

 

“Try wha-” Dean started to ask before realizing exactly what Cas meant. “Oh…” 

 

Dean swallowed, “We’ll talk about it, we don’t need to make decisions right now.” 

 

He had a lot of questions he wanted to be answered before he brought a half human half fae child into the world, no matter how the need for a family burned in his chest. 

 

“I know, I just want to be with you for a while,” Castiel said hugging Dean close for a moment before pulling him towards the house but stopped when he was halfway there.  Instead, he went to a shadier part of his little forest and held his hands out. The trees shifted, the limbs coming together to create a hammock. He smiled over at Dean and crawled in, reaching up grabby hands towards him.

 

“Not weird at all, Cas.” Dean teased his love but he wouldn’t have changed a single thing about him. Sure, he was odd and obviously inhuman, but he was still somehow  _ everything _ he’d ever needed or wanted in one being, certainly more than he deserved. 

 

Castiel took the crown off his head, nearly forgetting that it was there and tossed it to the ground before curling around Dean and wrapping his arm tightly around his torso.  It was perfect outside and for the first time since this all began, he was truly happy.

 


End file.
